Tuesday, June 20, 2006

What's Behind Door Number Two?

I've told this story numerous times....if you've already heard it go do something else.

Years ago as teenagers me and The Hoag used to hang around this Teen Drop-In Center thingy (It was really some sort of drug counseling place, I think)...but anyhow we hung around there to meet girls, stay warm, and generally goof around.

In one of the rooms we noticed this locked door that was connected to a boarded up building next door. It drove us nuts! What was behind that door? Months and months went by and that door was practically begging us to pick it's lock and see what was behind it. The place was always filled with people so we never had a chance to get through that door.

Until one night the manager guy asked us if we could lock up.

Three minutes after we 'locked up' Hoag had that door open.

We fired up a couple of candles that were in the kitchenette and entered through the door.

Through that door was a long out of business bowling alley with everything nearly as it stood 20 years prior. I half expected to see Richie, Potsie, or Ralph Malph in there bowling. The bowling pins were still set up. Balls in the ball return thingy. Ashtrays on every table still with butts in them. Cobwebs and thick dust everywhere. Electricity was off and everything was gone from the snack bar...but if someone dusted the place, turned on the power, and restocked the food they could have been open for business the next day.

So anyhow we looked around, tossed a few bowling balls down the lanes (bowling is no fun if you have to set up your own pins) and then started to figure out what was worth taking. This was an abandoned building so we didn't really consider it stealing (it was)

One of us called our buddy Weasel, who had a car, and he met us out front. We filled that car with every pair of bowling shoes we could find. Estimates over the years have been somewhere between 80-200 pairs. For the sake of this retelling let's be conservative and say 100 pairs (nice even number)

So what happened to the bowling shoes you ask? Well,....we drove to our high school the next day with Weasel, parked in front of the school and spread the word that we had FREE BOWLING SHOES!! (And who doesn't love free bowling shoes?) Someone would come up to the car and we'd say "What size?" and then we'd just hand them their size and off they'd go.

For one glorious day you could hear the click/clack of bowling shoes all throughout the high school. It was truly a moving experience.

EPILOGUE:
For many years later, every once in a while you'd see some former student wearing those shoes and we'd just laugh like madmen.

EPILOGUE 2:
They never opened the bowling alley back up and all the stuff inside was just thrown away.

EPILOGUE 3:
Me and Hoag always wished we had gone back inside and taken all of the bowling balls....that would have been fun!

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:24 AM EDT

    There is no Hoagy; you made him up.

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  2. Anonymous11:36 AM EDT

    Who's made up?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Did you steal a couple of matching bowling shirts, too?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2:58 PM EDT

    Those arent pillows!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2:58 PM EDT

    Those arent pillows!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous3:14 PM EDT

    I never could find bowling shoes that fit my extremely plump feet.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous10:23 PM EDT

    I'm pretty sure I had sex there once (not the bowling alley, but the hangout place). But that was the dazed and confused 70's-nothing counted then.

    ReplyDelete