So yesterday I decide to finally watch Oliver Stone's JFK starring Kevin Costner.
Fantastic movie about JFK's assassination and the conspiracy theory that followed. During the movie Stone shows that Kennedy was killed by either: the mob, the Cubans, LBJ, The military industrial complex, Nixon, Tommy Lee Jones, The Russians....in other words it was somebody other than Oswald. But the movie is still brilliant even though Oliver Stone is a raging mental case.
After the movie was over I was kinda obsessed with solving this whole JFK thing and started reading through the Warren Report and other books I have on Kennedy. I freeze framed each frame of the classic Zapruder film over and over and over again....and then I saw it. Right there in front of everyone. How people for 40 years could have missed this is beyond me. Hide in Plain Sight is the phrase.
The precise second the first shot is heard you can clearly see a great white shark chomp down hard on the President's head. And the chomps again.....and then for good measure takes a good sized bite out of Connelly. And if you're good at lip reading like I am, you can also see Jackie O mouth the words "Holy shit...it's a goddamn shark!"
The shark acted alone.
Moral of the story?
Don't drive with the top down in shark infested highways.
Did you watch Jaws right after JFK, by any chance? Or are you just smoking "America" again?
ReplyDeleteLook at the Zapruder...you decide.
ReplyDeleteOh my god, every website that talks about JFK's assassination has just gone down! And there's men in black at my door, wanting to talk to me.
ReplyDeleteRun, NoOprah, RUN! You've clearly stumbled onto something you're not supposed to know!
SOYLENT GREEN is Sharks!!!!
ReplyDeletewas it a regular shark or a zombie shark? why did he just go for brains?
ReplyDeleteI am Spartacus!
ReplyDelete"I want these m*th%rf#king sharks off this m&th#rf@cking motorcade!"
ReplyDeleteDamn land sharks, JFK should've known better. Courtesy of SNL:
ReplyDelete[Music: "Jaws Theme"]
[open on interior, apartment]
[doorbell sounds]
Woman #1: [moves to chain-locked door] Who is it?
Land Shark: [muffled voice] Mrs. Ramilarghh??
Woman #1: Who is it?
Land Shark: [muffled voice] Plumber...
Woman #1: Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?
Land Shark: [muffled voice] Telegram.
Woman #1: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment.
[unlocks door, and opens it. The head of the shark appears, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the hallway as she screams.]
It wasn't a land shark. Regular 16 foot Great White.
ReplyDeleteThough he did have a larger than normal mouth to fit the larger than normal Kennedy head.
(I love that Cake explained "Land Shark" for that one guy who has never seen the skit.)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Well, I figured you'd get around to watching it one day, NoOprah...but I didn't want you to feel embarrassed in front of your friends when you didn't know the reference.
ReplyDeleteWas the shark wearing teal green swim trunks?
ReplyDeleteSharks in teal green swim trunks can't be trusted.
Damn.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder Johnson placed "ridding the streets of sharks" so high on his domestic and foreign policy lists.
Do we have to worry about sharks on planes now?
This is not a joke:
ReplyDeleteThe author, W.P.Kinsella is/was a scout for the Atlanta Braves. I happen know this because I caught an interview of him at a Braves World Series game- a game where the Anthem was sung by Harry Connick Jr. In passing, Kinsella mentioned that enjoyed meeting Connick, being a bit of a fan.
Kinsella, of course, is best known as the author of "Field of Dreams". In fact the hero of the movie version (played by Kevin Costner) was named Ray Kinsella. The real Ray Kinsella was W.P's father.
Which brings us to JFK, where Costner played New Orleans district attorney Jim Garrison.
Garrison (the real Garrison) was defeated the last time he ran for district attorney by Harry Connick Senior.
Which proves that the Lakota Sioux, financed by Jane Fonda, killed Kennedy.
This is not a joke:
ReplyDeleteThe author, W.P.Kinsella is/was a scout for the Atlanta Braves. I happen know this because I caught an interview of him at a Braves World Series game- a game where the Anthem was sung by Harry Connick Jr. In passing, Kinsella mentioned that enjoyed meeting Connick, being a bit of a fan.
Kinsella, of course, is best known as the author of "Field of Dreams". In fact the hero of the movie version (played by Kevin Costner) was named Ray Kinsella. The real Ray Kinsella was W.P's father.
Which brings us to JFK, where Costner played New Orleans district attorney Jim Garrison.
Garrison (the real Garrison) was defeated the last time he ran for district attorney by Harry Connick Senior.
Which proves that the Lakota Sioux, financed by Jane Fonda, killed Kennedy.
I don't know why it went up twice.
ReplyDeleteYes I do.
ReplyDeleteConflicted am I.
ReplyDeleteBut the fact remains that Costner's attempt to replicate a New England accent made that movie too unbearable to watch.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't have a clue what you just said. Did Harry Connick Jr. kill JFK? With the assistance of sharks?
I'm going to take a xanax now.
I once played roulette witb Harry Connick jr.....I wonder is somehow I was a patsy in the whole JFK 'death' thing.
ReplyDelete