So Lois sends me this link the other day about a truck crashing and spewing two tons (a million pounds) of pig heads all over the highway.
At first I thought 'gross'...and then as I thought about it some more I kinda wanted to see two tons (a million pounds) of pig heads all over the highway.
And then I started to think why the heck is a truck carrying two tons (a million pounds) of pig heads in the first place? A Halloween thing? Satanic Ritual Store?
And then today I'm driving into work this morning and an eighteen wheeler (large truck) passes me and I KNOW, I JUST KNOW that truck is carrying animal heads.
But what kind? Is it a truck full of two tons (a million pounds) of puppy heads? Chipmunk heads?
And then more and more trucks start whizzing by me and I realize the whole freakin' truckin industry is part of the whole animal head transport conspiracy!
Where are the heads going? Where are the bodies of all of these critters? Are they going to the same place? For the same purpose?
It's way creepy knowing that each and every truck on our highways are filled with puppy heads.
It's also creepy knowing that John Kerry came ::this close:: to being President.
I also wonder how much two tons of John Kerry heads would weigh.
BRILLIANT!! MORE MORE MORE
ReplyDeleteJEN
1) Headcheese.
ReplyDelete2) Clinky likes Fred Broski!
"And then I started to think why the heck is a truck carrying two tons (a million pounds) of pig heads in the first place?"
ReplyDeleteClearly a bunch of people are just trying to get a-head. ::rim shot::
At least it wasn't a truckload of rat heads.
ReplyDeleteIf it had been a truckload of Jay Leno heads, they could have made up the entire two-ton allotment with three.
ReplyDeleteProvided, of course, they kept the chins on. The chins are, after all, the best part. And there's always enough for seconds!
Lois claims that pig heads are what Germans give out as Halloween treats. Those wacky Huns!
And finally... are you waiting for one of us to point out the ridiculous nature of the question "I wonder how much two tons of John Kerry heads would WEIGH?"
I mean, even I know the answer to that one...
-- Lamont Cranston
Million pounds?
ReplyDeleteMillion pounds.
ReplyDelete-- Lamont Cranston
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ReplyDeleteMotheragawd is strangely silent...I wonder if she knows something about the pig heads that she's not telling us.
ReplyDeleteQuick! Someone hold her down and tickle her till she confesses!
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ReplyDeleteEverytime I read about a truck turning over and spilled [random funny product] all over the highway, I think back to about two years ago.
ReplyDeleteOne day, in the morning I read a bout a truck in Georgia (the state) rolling over and spilling tons of BEER on the highway. Later that day, another truck in Georgia (the state) rolled over and spilled tons of PEANUTS all over the highway.
Geogia has a very happy highway system.