Thanksgiving Day is tomorrow so I figured I'd list what I'm thankful for.
In order.
Though I'm leaving out two things I'm more thankful for because they would be ahead of my wifey and I aint so dumb to put them down in writing.
1. Television
2. The Internet
3. Wifey
4. My favorite daughter.
5. B-B-Q sauce
6. My other daughter.
7. My friends. Except Wayne.
8. Sweet Potato Pie
9. Mel and Kramer
10. George W. Bush for keeping America safe.
11. David Ortiz, Manny, and Mike Lowell.
I'm thankful for Scotch.
ReplyDeleteAnd bourbon.
I'm thankful for:
ReplyDelete1. Wine
2. The Husband
3. My favorite son.
4. Chocolate
5. My other son.
6. Doctor Who
7. Diet Coke
8. Pumpkin pie.
9. Nothing for number 9.
10. Sleep.
Bacon
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful for buddy night :)
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving was in October.
ReplyDeleteYeesh. Yanks...
Oh, you wacky Canadians are so cute!
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful for:
ReplyDelete1. Vodka
2. my long distance booty call
3. my only son
4. Sweet Potato Pie w/ whip cream
5. mmmm Whip Cream
6. Ice Cream
7. Coffee
8. Living in Austin on townlake
9. Weekends
10. Men
I'm also thankful for coffee. (thanks, tex)
ReplyDeleteAnd cigarettes.
And coffee and cigarettes.
mmmm....vice-a-licious...
1. Bourbon and Irish whisky (since I don't ever mix them when drinking, I can be thankful for them at the same time.)
ReplyDelete2. My favorite girlfriend, who doesn't know about my other girlfriend.
3. Chinese food
4. My other girlfriend, who doesn't know about my favorite girlfriend.
5. The knowledge that no matter how many turkeys an American President pardons, the First Family always sits down for bird on Thanksgiving day, thereby providing an annual demonstration of the value of a presidential proclamation.
6. High-fat, high density ice cream. Especially when eaten after Chinese food.
7. Little fillable bottles that hold less than three ounces of essential liquids and are now a traveler's online bag staple. I wasn't thankful for these last year but times change, y'know?
8. Chinese food (It's been a little while since I typed it the first time, and I'm hungry again.)
9. Living in a very pedestrian-friendly city, because I think driving involves math.
10. Coffee. But really good coffee, and not that crap that comes out of the office Nutrimat. I'm not thankful for that. No sirrie.
11. The family I've created, as opposed to those who claim the title without having to have worked for it. The latter can really be pips sometimes.
12. Sick comedy.
-- Lamont Cranston
Oh, and my favorite senile cat.
ReplyDeleteAnd my other senile cat.
And Scotch.
Clinky
ReplyDelete1. Wife and children.
ReplyDelete2. Variant comic book covers and the phone calls they generate.
3. My other wife and children.
4. Albert R. Broccoli
5. Jenna Jameson
6. Indoor plumbing
7. Newcastle
8. DVR
9. Red Sonja
10. The Otter Limits
Things I'm thankful(and maybe not so thankful) for:
ReplyDelete1)That feisty group of early Pilgram's who risked their lives to settle in this great land
2)John Kerry's big-stupid-mouth
3)Ted Kennedy's booze-changed-vein-filled nose
4)Getting to spend lots of "quality-time" with my son.
5)being required to pay Mass income tax even though I no longer live there.
6)the politically-correct minority that ruin the fun of the majority of us
7)Sleep-inducing turkey meat
On behalf of Americans everywhere, I'd just like to say that I'm thankful for our wonderful neighbor to the south.
ReplyDeleteBugger. I meant our neighbor to the NORTH.
ReplyDeleteStupid spiked egg nog....
-hookers
ReplyDelete-and things that go bump in the night; especially if they're hookers
I'm thankful for....
ReplyDeleteUmmmm. Hold on a second....
1. My supportive husband. Oh. Never mind.
2. My adoring pets. Whoops! Wrong on that one again!
3. MY BMW. I mean my Ford Taurus. Sorry.
4. My kids. Yah. That's it. BOTH of them. I love them the same-the bitchy one I can't stand being around and who'd better make me rich some day, and the sweet adorable kind little gal who cuddles up with me and goes to the movies with me and writes me notes telling me how much she loves me....I don't PICK favorites.
5. Denzel Washington
6. My Country. It Tis of Thee, Sweet land of a couple of liberties....
Oh...I forgot...
ReplyDeleteI'm VERY thankful for my legally prescribed medications.
Bemisdown, Anunomess:
ReplyDeleteYou can be thankful for this wine and sweet potato pie over here with me, if you like.
Cake,
ReplyDeleteGimmie a time and I'm on my way!
Sweet Potato Pie! Yum.
Cake, can I come too? I've got a big bag of chocolate flavored Turkey shaped puppy meds to share!
ReplyDeleteLois:
ReplyDeleteOf course! The more the merrier. You know me; I love an excuse to eat good food and drink wine!
Wait...I misread the box.
ReplyDeleteThey're actually chocolate shaped Turkey flavored puppy meds.
On the bright side, if you take enough of them you don't care that the taste is a little...fowl.
Anunomess, cake, lois lane:
ReplyDeleteI've got keys to one hot Ford AND legally prescribed medications. So I'M ready to go!
Do you think we should invite all of Lamont's girlfriends too? Sounds like he's on the Road to Confusion, so maybe we should help him out in the spirit of the holidays.
I'm on the road to something... probably Utah.
ReplyDeleteOh, that Brigham Young!
-- Lamont Cranston
I’m thankful for Raccoons, bears, especially grizzlies, opossums, squirrels, skunks, chipmunks, foxes, coyotes, wolves, wolverines, porcupines, lions, leopards, tigers, shrews, badgers, dolphins, voles, coatis, sheep, or two, a kangaroo, cheetahs, civets, ocelots, bison, elk, moose, deer, bats, wallabies, weasels, oh yes the weasels, minks, otters, beavers, dogs, cats, cougars, rats, elephants, rhinos, wombats, lynx, zebras, seals, sea lions, orcas, whales, hyrax, okapis, jaguars, javelinas, bandicoots, bobcats, servals, aardvarks, armadillos, red pandas, giant pandas, hippos, yaks, camels, vicunas, guanacos, goats, llamas, giraffes, pine martens, rabbits, walruses, lemurs, fossas, and alpacas.
ReplyDeleteAnunomess:
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling turkeys will be included in his day, no worries there.
Is that Malignant melanoma on your shoulder, Tex? The sun is quite strong there, better have it looked at immediately.
ReplyDeleteThat "thing" on my shoulder is my TAT! it is a beautiful thing!
ReplyDelete