There once was a savior named Jesus Who slid down chimneys to please us. He left many presents To poor kids and peasants Uncles and Aunts, Nephews and Nieces.
NoOprah appealed to the choiah "Please dump dear St. Nick for Messiah. It's not so suspicious (this new turn religious) The North Pole don't have lakes of fiyah.
We believe in the father of Jesus Whose name we all say when we sneezes But when we are dead, Just like Mister Ted We want them instead just to freeze us.
Jesus was spanking an otter 'Cause he knew then that God was his father Then he said wait a minute Ten swats are the limit Because otherwise why do I bother?
A Republican douchebag named Steve Whose epiphany came Christmas Eve When he said with a frown Young George Bush let me down But in Reagan I firmly believe!
recap - There once was a savior named Jesus Who slid down chimneys to please us. He left many presents To poor kids and peasants Uncles and Aunts, Nephews and Nieces.
This mistaken ID did cause Christ to tear - Both good people did travel far and near - However, one was greeted with holiday cheer - While the other with disbelief and fear - Yet both still reward good works all year!
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I don't DO limericks. It's against my religion.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a broad named Cake.
ReplyDeleteWho broke the rules that I make.
She posted out of line
Most of the time.
But I forgive because of her headache.
This was too hard of an assignment.
ReplyDeleteI've got nothing either.
ReplyDeleteNoOprah appealed to the choiah
ReplyDelete"Please dump dear St. Nick for Messiah.
It's not so suspicious
(this new turn religious)
The North Pole don't have lakes of fiyah.
-- Lamont Cranston
I've got nothing either.
ReplyDeleteAs the savior flew fast away
ReplyDeleteHe was overheard loudly to say
"I like this job more
then my job before--
I only work one measly day!"
(Ouch, sorry...)
The kids awoke with the bright sun
ReplyDeleteFilled with joy and lotsa fun
They ran down the stairs
Without fears or cares
Then they saw what Jesus had done...
Now Jesus was new to his job
He'd acted a bit of a knob
Instead of the loot
toys that would suit
He'd left leather bibles-- oh sob!
(Of course, if you could read my two contributions in reverse order...it'd probably work better. Heh.)
ReplyDeleteI thought I could get right away
ReplyDeleteTo a beach with babes and saltspray
But Jesus goofed
Botched and spoofed
And now I'm the one who'll pay.
Did I say a beach and some sand?
ReplyDeleteWith martinis right at at my hand?
Oh dear, it's a joke!
For you to provoke!
And it worked just as I'd planned.
There once was an elf that couldn't rhyme.
ReplyDeleteAnd he tricked Santa into drinking.
Then with a glance.
And a quick look skyward.
To all a good night
But then Jesus got sick of the work
ReplyDeleteAnd thought "What am I, a jerk?"
GOD is my Dad
So I'm frankly glad
To give this job to some St. Clerk
Yet Jesus was tired one day
ReplyDeleteHe wanted to pray and to play
So he asked a fat guy
"Take my shift and I'll give you a pie!"
The rest is history they say.
I seem to be on a "Jesus is Lazy" toot.
ReplyDeleteWe believe in the father of Jesus
ReplyDeleteWhose name we all say when we sneezes
But when we are dead,
Just like Mister Ted
We want them instead just to freeze us.
Jesus was spanking an otter
ReplyDelete'Cause he knew then that God was his father
Then he said wait a minute
Ten swats are the limit
Because otherwise why do I bother?
There once was a fellow named Claus
ReplyDeleteWho never did break any laws
Except for the day
He found poop in his sleigh.
Then he angrily broke Rudolph's paws.
A Republican douchebag named Steve
ReplyDeleteWhose epiphany came Christmas Eve
When he said with a frown
Young George Bush let me down
But in Reagan I firmly believe!
Limerick or haiku
ReplyDeleteJesus is not Santa Claus
Haiku wins the contest
Clinky won.
ReplyDeleterecap -
ReplyDeleteThere once was a savior named Jesus
Who slid down chimneys to please us.
He left many presents
To poor kids and peasants
Uncles and Aunts, Nephews and Nieces.
This mistaken ID did cause Christ to tear -
Both good people did travel far and near -
However, one was greeted with holiday cheer -
While the other with disbelief and fear -
Yet both still reward good works all year!
We'll see who 'wins'!
ReplyDeleteClinly only won because he figured out a way to put "Reagan" in his limerick.
ReplyDeleteCheap trick.
iaintnooprah.blogspot.com is very informative. The article is very professionally written. I enjoy reading iaintnooprah.blogspot.com every day.
ReplyDeletepay day loan
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Unlike legal help companies we can actually put cash in your hands You can now. Approved Cash Advance - As a member of the Community Financial Services. [url=http://viiumft.rahuketu.net/map.html]smart cash advance[/url] It can be especially frustrating to ask for a cash advance from acquaintances. Business Profile and Photos of ALLIED CASH ADVANCE - Payday Loans in TEMPE AZ. Said hearing shall be scheduled far enough in advance to allow the required. If you are looking to liquidate an estate or receive a cash advance on your.
ReplyDeleteCathline made room for me, and I was soon made to feel welcome as ahand I think it was Johns. Sure, she anddedicated nanobots had worked to tighten the belly above her rounded pudendato a womanly curve that, while convex, suggested solid musculature, ratherthan fat, but everything between that and the carefully crafted hollows of herinner thighs Teela had been born with for Leegates to pick out one of the fewspots on her besides her face that hadnt seen SOME editing to comment on wasgratifying.
ReplyDeletehard core sex animal stories
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Cathline made room for me, and I was soon made to feel welcome as ahand I think it was Johns. Sure, she anddedicated nanobots had worked to tighten the belly above her rounded pudendato a womanly curve that, while convex, suggested solid musculature, ratherthan fat, but everything between that and the carefully crafted hollows of herinner thighs Teela had been born with for Leegates to pick out one of the fewspots on her besides her face that hadnt seen SOME editing to comment on wasgratifying.
Hello Everybody,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com) +918376918351 Thank you.