Thursday, December 21, 2006

The First Annual Jesus As Santa Claus Limerick That You'll Have To Help Finish Cuz I Just Don't Have The Time.

There once was a savior named Jesus
Who slid down chimneys to please us.
He left many presents
To poor kids and peasants
Uncles and Aunts, Nephews and Nieces.

(finish that up for me...willya?)

28 comments:

  1. I don't DO limericks. It's against my religion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There once was a broad named Cake.

    Who broke the rules that I make.

    She posted out of line

    Most of the time.

    But I forgive because of her headache.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous1:58 PM EST

    This was too hard of an assignment.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2:00 PM EST

    I've got nothing either.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2:01 PM EST

    NoOprah appealed to the choiah
    "Please dump dear St. Nick for Messiah.
    It's not so suspicious
    (this new turn religious)
    The North Pole don't have lakes of fiyah.

    -- Lamont Cranston

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2:03 PM EST

    I've got nothing either.

    ReplyDelete
  7. As the savior flew fast away
    He was overheard loudly to say
    "I like this job more
    then my job before--
    I only work one measly day!"

    (Ouch, sorry...)

    ReplyDelete
  8. The kids awoke with the bright sun
    Filled with joy and lotsa fun
    They ran down the stairs
    Without fears or cares
    Then they saw what Jesus had done...

    Now Jesus was new to his job
    He'd acted a bit of a knob
    Instead of the loot
    toys that would suit
    He'd left leather bibles-- oh sob!

    ReplyDelete
  9. (Of course, if you could read my two contributions in reverse order...it'd probably work better. Heh.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous3:59 PM EST

    I thought I could get right away
    To a beach with babes and saltspray
    But Jesus goofed
    Botched and spoofed
    And now I'm the one who'll pay.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous4:18 PM EST

    Did I say a beach and some sand?
    With martinis right at at my hand?
    Oh dear, it's a joke!
    For you to provoke!
    And it worked just as I'd planned.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous6:03 PM EST

    There once was an elf that couldn't rhyme.

    And he tricked Santa into drinking.

    Then with a glance.

    And a quick look skyward.

    To all a good night

    ReplyDelete
  13. But then Jesus got sick of the work
    And thought "What am I, a jerk?"
    GOD is my Dad
    So I'm frankly glad
    To give this job to some St. Clerk

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yet Jesus was tired one day
    He wanted to pray and to play
    So he asked a fat guy
    "Take my shift and I'll give you a pie!"
    The rest is history they say.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I seem to be on a "Jesus is Lazy" toot.

    ReplyDelete
  16. We believe in the father of Jesus
    Whose name we all say when we sneezes
    But when we are dead,
    Just like Mister Ted
    We want them instead just to freeze us.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Jesus was spanking an otter
    'Cause he knew then that God was his father
    Then he said wait a minute
    Ten swats are the limit
    Because otherwise why do I bother?

    ReplyDelete
  18. There once was a fellow named Claus
    Who never did break any laws
    Except for the day
    He found poop in his sleigh.
    Then he angrily broke Rudolph's paws.

    ReplyDelete
  19. A Republican douchebag named Steve
    Whose epiphany came Christmas Eve
    When he said with a frown
    Young George Bush let me down
    But in Reagan I firmly believe!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous2:19 AM EST

    Limerick or haiku
    Jesus is not Santa Claus
    Haiku wins the contest

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous1:51 PM EST

    recap -
    There once was a savior named Jesus
    Who slid down chimneys to please us.
    He left many presents
    To poor kids and peasants
    Uncles and Aunts, Nephews and Nieces.


    This mistaken ID did cause Christ to tear -
    Both good people did travel far and near -
    However, one was greeted with holiday cheer -
    While the other with disbelief and fear -
    Yet both still reward good works all year!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous4:43 PM EST

    We'll see who 'wins'!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Clinly only won because he figured out a way to put "Reagan" in his limerick.

    Cheap trick.

    ReplyDelete
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