Monday, November 19, 2007

Eyeballs

Folks just don't say that word anymore.

Eyeballs.

It's kinda a creepy word now. Folks just say eyes.

"You have beautiful eyes!"

"You have beautiful eyeballs."

See?

"I need to have my eyes checked."

"I need to have my eyeballs checked." (Ewwwwww!)

See? You hear the word eyeballs and it conjures up old EC comics or weird horror movies. Eyeballs are scary. Eyes are beautiful.

I'm touching my eyes right now. For no real reason. If I was touching my eyeballs you'd know something bad was about to happen.

Six eyes of one, half a dozen eyeballs of another.

Half a dozen eyeballs is wicked creepy. Six eyes is just three people.

Looking at me. With their eyeballs.

Their creepy demon infested eyeballs!

Point of the story?
Hillary has eyeballs....Mitt Romney has dreamy brown eyes.



EYEBALLS!

Gotcha!

15 comments:

  1. I think I've been crossing my eyeballs for too long...they're starting to hurt. What can I take for painful eyeballs? Is there eyeball pain medicine? Maybe I'd better go to the eyeball doctor.

    ::rubs eyeballs::

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  2. Anonymous11:38 AM EST

    An eyeball for an eyeball...

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  3. I have to go see the eyeball doctor, you know, the opthamoligist.

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  4. Anonymous11:45 AM EST

    a) The Hills Have Eyeballs

    b) For Your Eyeballs Only

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  5. Anonymous1:13 PM EST

    The Aye-balls have it.

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  6. Goodness gracious, great eyeballs of fire!

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  7. Eyeballs wish eyeballs could think of a clever song title comment...but eyeballs seem to be coming up dry today.

    Eyeballs maybe need some more coffee?

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  8. Anonymous2:04 PM EST

    Oh you silly bloggers! Next thing you'll tell me is that Lamont has eyeballs! Silly bloggers.

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  9. SWEET POTATO PIE-BALL!

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  10. Lamont got a set of eyeballs six months ago. But he hasn't plugged them in.

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  11. Anonymous2:54 PM EST

    When they bake haddock, do they leave the eyeballs in?

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  12. Anonymous3:29 PM EST

    It burns! Oh how it burns!

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  13. Anonymous8:44 PM EST

    Saul/Lois:

    Actually, I got six sets of eyeballs a month ago. It's my own fault for using one of those manual gift registries, instead of an online one that updates in real time.

    Live and learn.

    Anybody want a spare set of corneas and retinas, barely used and mostly unbloodshot?

    -- Lamont "Iris Steensma" Cranston

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  14. Anonymous8:45 PM EST

    Eh, when I was young, you know, I ball jus' about anyt'ing, but I draw de line at self abuse.

    Because you know, de ladies I ball, dey may be old, dey may be young, some of dem pretty lak de pictures, some of dem not so comely, but dey all were mos' delightful.

    My hands, though, they's rough from working all the day in the forest, on de farm, en factorie. I don' like dat rough stuff on my pipi.

    So if dere's no ladies aroun' and it's needed that I ball something sof' an' warm an' (how you say it) not ver' masculine, I 'ave a favourite t'ing to stick it in to:
    A mitt.

    Wuzzat? EYE ball? HO! Is funny I make big mistake and embarrass me.

    Ho ho. Lotsa yeux.

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