I'm driving to work this morning and out came that fact on the radio.
The average human penis weighs four ounces. Even in it's different incarnations.
Four ounces.
And of course with a tidbit ::snicker:: like that, it made me think...
1. Who is doing the weighing?
2. Does it pay well?
3. Benefits? ::snicker::
4. Doesn't Hillary look like she could lose more than four ounces?
Four ounces. Seems so insignificant.
The least these weighers of penis could do is call it a Quarter Pounder. Seems so much more....so much more....so much more...ummmmm....meaty or something.
Four ounces.
Just another reason not to vote for Hillary.
No wonder you folks need such a huge military...you're compensating!
ReplyDeleteCanadian penises average six ounces...hence our tiny military. See how it works?
You're welcome!
To sum up:
ReplyDeleteIANO is considering a career change.
I can't wait for the Beatles songs to start raising their heads around here.
ReplyDeleteNo pun intended.
"All" My Loving.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous:
ReplyDelete::coy wink::
What is this, penis day or something?
ReplyDeleteEvery day is penis day.
ReplyDeleteNow that's what I'm talking about Redbeard!
ReplyDeleteMaxwell's Four Ounce Hammer
ReplyDeleteEasily Carry That Weight
Let It Be Five Ounces
Norwegian Balsa Wood
I Am The Walrus Cub
Whaddya call a dude with schmegma?
ReplyDeleteQuarter pounder with cheese.
1) Where does "the average human penis" live? In "the average pair of pants" in Intercourse, Pennsylvania?
ReplyDelete2) Is there any U.S. town or city named "Average"? Seems like there should be.
3) I betcha all of you boys sidle home tonight and flip your block and tackles up on scales--bathroom scales, postage scales, food-weighing scales--to see if this is true. Tip: If you find yourself in the produce aisle of a supermarket, be discreet. And hygenic. Please be hygenic.
P.S. I meant hygienic. And I really, really meant it.
ReplyDeleteAt four ounces, it'd have to be a postage scale for sure, Sparkle.
ReplyDeleteAnd when the weigh-in is done, wanna bet they start stuffing their pants with socks? And buyin' bigger cars?
Poor little guys.
p.s.
ReplyDeleteI just noticed I have a tube of handcream on my desk and guess how much is in it? One penis's worth. ::snicker::
I got chap stick (Burt's Bees), weighing in at 0.15 ounces. I feel sorry for the poor bloke who measures up to that.
ReplyDeleteThe Four Ounce Penis
ReplyDelete1) You can make it sound better by calling it The 113.398093 Gram Penis.
2) You can make it sound worse by calling it The 1/2 Cup Penis.
Slip a Nut on the scale when no one is looking, you can hit 6 ounces easy.
ReplyDelete1) You never give me your four ounces.
ReplyDelete2) All you need is four ounces of love.
3) Across the Punyverse
- I Want You (It's So Light!)
ReplyDelete- Wee Mister Mustard
- Sgt Pepper's Puny Penis Club Band
When I'm 64 Ounces
ReplyDeleteRunty Raccoon
ReplyDeleteDizzy Miss Lezzy
ReplyDeleteDavid'z Rantz:
ReplyDeleteSaw a lass in a bar once try to pull that line on someone.
She was stopped cold by the rejoinder "How odd. I was just thinking the same thing about your boyfriend."
-- Lamont "No, It Wasn't Me -- I Still HAVE All My Teeth" Cranston
Oh, and...
ReplyDeletethanks for the link! Rather than flat-out say I don't have a blog, I prefer to think of myself as a shadow blogger.
-- Lamont "No Pun So Low" Cranston
Feh! Shadow blogger indeed. The excellent pun does not serve to mitigate the fact that you are a big ol' lazybones.
ReplyDeletesomewhere there's a "Bushel and a Peck" joke
ReplyDeleteI'm never going to read a recipe book in the same way again after Cake's 'penis worth' of handcream comment.
ReplyDelete*Jayne runs off to see how many of the itmes in her home weigh the same as a penis*