I Ain't No Oprah

So I go to get my haircut the other night. Me and the 'stylist' hit it off. Here is part of the conversation: HER: "So ...

WIFEY: "What are you doing?" ME: "I'm waiting for coffee." WIFEY: "But what are you doing?" ME:...

HEAVY ACCENT GUY: "Heavyaccent-heavyaccent-heavyaccent-heavyaccent?" ME: "Nope." HEAVY ACCENT GUY: "Heavyaccent...

Stop calling it indigo when it's really just blue!!

I'm getting old. I woke up this morning and couldn't remember if Sylvia was married or single. How could I not know that? I wa...

So Saturday night me and Wifey are coming home from dinner. It's about 11:00 pm. All of a sudden a car flies by me and passes me on ...

FREAK: "Hi...I'm Mike from Rhode Island and you need repentance." ME: "Hi...I'm {IANO} from {here} and you need to l...

So I'm doing a project at home and I needed some rocks. I guessed that I would need about 'three yards' of rock. Turns out...

So last night Wifey and I were eating out at a restaurant. We sat at the bar. Two women were next to me and thoughout the night they w...

Three fat chicks were standing WAY over there >. Two guys were over THAT < way. Here is what was said: ONE OF THE GUYS: "H...