Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Salt of the Earth

So I'm at a restaurant the other night and I want the salt.

So I reach over to grab the "salt shaker" and it's one of those stupid sea salt ones where you have to grind the salt.

I wanted a salt shaker like the ones pictured above.

You know, a salt shaker.

To put salt on my food.

But this crap pizza place (and don't get me started on the "pizza") thought they were all upscale and provided us with sea salt.

Sea salt that I have to grind and then somehow figure out how to just get on the chicken that was on my "pizza" and not the "pizza" itself.

People just want salt in a regular salt shaker.

We don't want sea salt that needs a grindin'.

I speak for everybody on this matter.

I am the Lorax of salt.

The most basic of things is salt in a conventional shaker. I don't want to think about salt.

Yet I was. Yet I am.

I want Morton brand salt in a see-through salt shaker.

So do you, so does your mother, so does Mel Gibson and Halle Berry.

It's called salt for a reason.


Salty McTavish said...

- All You Need Is Salt

- Salty Sadie

- Halter Salther

- When I'm Salty Four (huh...)

- Yellow SaltShaker

- Ain't She Salty

- Salty Rita

Anonymous said...

Back in S.H.A.K.E.R.

Sgt. Salt and Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Here Comes The Salt

mimi said...

"I am the Lorax of salt."
I might have to borrow that line. It's so good.