Friday, November 30, 2012

So last night I went out for something to eat.

I didn't want to stay out late.

 I wanted to eat.

And get home early.

Eat. Home. Sleep.

That was the plan.

So we start walking to my car after a quick dinner.

No keys.

Check the back pocket.

Other back pocket.

Front pockets. Shirt pocket.

Jacket pockets.

Repeat.

Take stuff out of pockets.

Pat back pockets again.

No keys.

It's cold outside.

Back inside restaurant.

ME: "Did you find a set of keys in here?"

NOT THE BRIGHTEST BARTENDER ON THE PLANET:  "What did they look like?"

ME: "Keys."

I look around restaurant.

They probably just fell to the floor where I sat.

Nope.

Check the back pockets again...I'm sure they will magically appear there.

They don't.

No keys.

I saddle up to the bar.

I remove everything out of every pocket (I had so much crap with me I was expecting to find a slingshot and a jawbreaker)

Money, wallet, change, cough drops, box cutter, napkins, receipts, paperclip, fireball, notes, etc.

No keys.

I took off my jacket.

I started patting it down...maybe a hole in the pocket lining?

Maybe the keys are in the lining!

They aren't.

I shake the jacket.

I hear keys.

They aren't in any pockets or the lining.

Or are they?

I pat it down again.

I feel the keys!!!

I HAVE THE KEYS IN MY JACKET!!

But where?

I'm befuddled.

And then I spot the secret hidden pocket I never knew about!!

I have a secret pocket!!

In my jacket.

SO TO SUM UP:

I'm the luckiest man on earth. I have a secret pocket so secret that I didnt even know it existed!

Secret pockets are pretty cool.

It's my new place for my keys.


6 comments:

Little Miss Obvious said...

Such. A. Loser!

Little Miss Cheeky said...

Can I see what I can find in your secret pocket?

Secret Pocket Nazi said...

No secret pocket for you!

Little Miss Cheeky said...

*pouts*

LMBS said...

Well, even though you're getting old (shops at Sears, eats dinner early, loses things) you're still wicked funny!

Little Miss Obvious said...

You have a secret pocket? I didn't know you were a woman!