I'm not sure if he's a he.
I'm not sure if he's a private detective.
It could be an illness.
A trendy gluten free meal, perhaps?
Some type of exotic flower?
Maybe Calcium Dickens is replacing someone on The View.
Calcium Dickens might be a ska band for all I know.
I don't really know who or what a Calcium Dickens is.
But if it's a guy and he has a daughter I'm sure her name is Codeine.