Monday, November 18, 2013

The Signed Penis

So the other night my once future wife was over the house.

We'll call her TOOTS.

She had a few glasses of wine.

Wifey had a few glasses.

I had a Big Mac and fries.

Here is the conversation:

TOOTS: "Next week I'm getting a signed penis."

ME: "A signed penis?"

TOOTS: "Yes...he keeps taking his time. But I told him I really need it next week."

ME: "Why do you want a signed penis?"

TOOTS: "I've been wanting it for years."

ME: "A signed penis."

TOOTS: "And then I can finally move."

ME: "A signed penis makes you move? "

TOOTS: "Not penis."

ME: "You said 'signed penis'."

TOOTS: "A signed P & S. A purchase and sale agreement on my house."

ME: "Oh."


Anonymous said...

The whole post was worth it just for the image.

Now, would you tell us where you found that image, since you apparently DON'T have access to a real-life signed penis?

-- " "

Anonymous said...

First page of Google Images...he's not THAT clever.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Not only first page of google images...first hit.

Not a lot of signed penis out there.

Anonymous said...

I will never hear the phrase "Give us a sign!" the same way again.

-- " "

Beatles said...

Happiness is a Signed Penis