So I get out of work and rush to the theater to meet Bacon Ace, The Half Bee, and Stu my lawyer (Hoag didn't want to go because he needed to find new lipstick or buy a new apron or something) to see Superman Returns. No time to eat before the movie so my options are Sour Patch Kids or Hot Dogs at the concession stand. I look at the Kids. I look at the hot dogs. I want the hot dogs. I order the hot dogs. The concession stand engineer says: "Let me see if they're cooked" and then takes out this huge meat thermometer and jams it into my penis...ummmmm....I mean jams it into the hot dog lengthwise to see if it's cooked. After conducting his Dr. Menegele experiment on my penis...ummmmm....I mean...ummmm....on the hot dog, he informs me it aint cooked yet and to try back in about ten minutes.
Now if I were to own a theater I might just want to have those freakin' hot dogs cooked BEFORE the movie starts.
Anyhow,...I order popcorn and a bargain priced bottled water and go to my seats and wait about ten minutes for my penis...ummmmm...I mean hot dog to get fully cooked.
I return to said concession stand when new hot dog engineer takes out Penis Death Prong and jams into the center of my penis...ummmm....I mean hot dog and once again informs me it aint quite yet cooked.
I order a small pizza and return to my seat.
I might have been watching Superman Returns but my thoughts were with meat thermometers jammed into my penis.
SPOILER WARNING FOR MOVIE CONTENT:
There is a cannibal dog in this movie and I must say that this is my favorite of all cannibal dog movies. Ever.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
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16 comments:
Mmmm....cannibal dog. Oops! I mean: Mmmmm...uncooked hot dog. Wait! Mmmmm...Popcorn. No!
Oh..
Wait..no...popcorn is cool. Well, how much "butter" did they put on?
Was it a cannibal hot dog?
The cannibal dog is really in the movie....it has nothing to do with the hot dog.
Dear IAintNoOprah:
Dr. Freud wants to meet with you this afternoon, do you have a few hours spare?
Sincerely,
Cake
Sometimes a hot dog is just a hot dog.
You know, the cannibal dog didn't cook his dog and he was fine for the rest of the movie. Granted, this is also ijn a movie where an alien comes to Earth and can fly and such.
I ate uncooked hot dogs all the time as a kid. Grow a pair and demand that the counter kid supply you with a semi-cooked dog next time. Safety be damned!
I loved in the movie where the alien "Superman" fought the apes.
"Sometimes a hot dog is just a hot dog."
Not in your story, it's not; I can fit you in from 3- 8pm today.
Were they damn dirty cannibal apes?
And when the damn dirty apes appeared, wielding their hot dogs, how did that make you feel?
I hear the scene where the ape and the cannibal dog fight over Padme is really spectacular.
I refuse to get into the Freud hot dog discussion. Oops! I just did.
(jumps in TARDIS)
There. I'm out again.
New money making idea:
Freudian Franks.
WE'RE RICH!!!!
Hot damn, that's brilliant!
I'm jumping in the TARDIS and going back in time to start a company 20 years ago so I can be rich now!
Phil Donahue's Niece:
I have time to see you tomorrow morning if you want to delve more deeply into your meatball issues.
Siggy
Grilled Penis alert
http://www.outsidegroove.com/forum/index.php?topic=264.0
I have "Hotdog Envy." Do you have any time for ME, Dr. Freud?
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