We all have special talents or useless superpowers.
1. My Cousin Paul can fit a standard size billiard ball in his mouth. He can also tell you how much money is in a stack of money just by looking at it.
2. Hoagy can do an uncanny baby cry. He can also tell you what any medicine is used for and it's side effects.
3. My wife can win any staring contest.
4. I always know what direction I'm facing. I can hold my breath longer than you. In a car trip two hours or less I can tell you within two minutes when we'll arrive. If something is slightly out of reach I can will myself to stretch just enough to snag it.
5. Democrats can always find away to blame it on Bush.
So what is your lame superpower? And don't be a loser and make something up.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
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7 comments:
I can cross my eyes really well, I can balance on anything and stay there, I've never lost a staring contest (except to my cat), and I can read a 500 page book in under an hour.
Why make something up when I'm so obviously amazing?
(Does sarcasm count as a superpower?)
1. I can do what I've been told by several people is the world's best impersonation of Bill the Cat from "Bloom County."
2. Competely independent of #1, I can get any cat to follow me anywhere, anytime. They won't do my bidding ( the little bastards), but they will follow me, whether I want them to or not.
And no, I don't think sarcasm is a superpower. If it was, I'd be a frickin' charter member of the Justice League. (I'd be Hawkgirl, because it would be fun to hit things with a mace. Actually, I may just go out and do that right now for the hell of it.)
The Sarcasm League - fighting crime and stupidity with irony, sharp tongues, and one arched eyebrow!
1) I can do the Spock thing to make someone's knees buckle by pushing pinching their shoulder.
2) I can cure hiccups. (The bitch is that I can only cure OTHER people's hiccups. I'm left to suffer)
3) I'm VERY good at cracking people's backs.
I stick to things
I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I don't have any superpowers (or none that I can discuss here, anyway).
But my sister can say all of the Presidents REALLY fast-she takes a deep breath and recites them all in order in one long stream (and when she gets to George W she adds "andhe'stoblamefor everything" Kidding-about the last part anyway)
And my brother-he's got a dozen superpowers, but I'm too tired to share them right now.
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