Thursday, July 13, 2006

The $3004.14 Tacos

About 12 years or so ago my Cousin Saul and I took our wives to Las Vegas. We ate in great restaurants, stayed in fantastic hotels, saw some fairly decent shows, won lots of money.

And had $3004.14 tacos.

You see, I love Jack in the Box tacos. 69 cents each and filled with a touch of heaven. We were out driving by the Hoover Dam on the outskirts of Vegas when I started craving those wonderful Jack Tacos. I had to have them. I had to have then NOW! So we drove around and finally spotted a Jack in the Box and I ran in....while I was devouring six of those spicy puppies our wives spotted a jewelry store across the street. Saul's wife spent about $2500.00 on a diamond ring and my wife spent about $500.00 on non-diamond rings.

$3004.14 tacos I still love you and you were worth every penny.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where was Hoagy?

Cake said...

I can't believe you ate puppies. That's so cruel.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Hoagy was causing trouble somewhere in Masschusetts.

Lois Lane said...

But Cake, they were *spicy* puppies. Mmmmm....

Cake said...

Oh the poor wee things! ::sobs::

Anonymous said...

Ask Saul where chapter 131 is

I Ain't No Oprah said...

They were in a crunchy shell and covered in hot sauce...they barely felt a thing.

Clinky said...

I had a $100 pretzel once.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Food costs money in the States...it's not like the Canadians with their Free Meal Money and Health Care Plan.

Anonymous said...

Boy oh boy NoOprah, you have expensive tastes in cheap food.

I can relate. I'm heading to the San Diego Comic Con, but only using that as an excuse to eat San Diego's famous fish tacos and a In n' Out burger or 2.

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) I sincerely hope that Saul saw some of that hot taco action for $2500.
2) Rubio's fish tacos rock.
3) Based on your experience, was Liberace REALLY gay or did he just like to feel all twinkly?

Lois Lane said...

1. *sigh* I wish I was headed to Comic-Con.

2. How does one become a Bacon Ace? Is there a test? Or is it an inherited title?

3. I've actually been to the Liberace Museum in Las Vegas. I just think he was a nice boy who was very fond of his mother. And sequins.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Soul sister: I, too, trotted through the Liberace Museum in Las Vegas. There were oodles of poodles in his family portrait gallery, eh? I remember a puffy, be-ribboned passel of them surrounding the heart shape framed oil painting of his mother (I believe she sported a grim, the-crops-are-bad-this-year expression along with her rhinestone-free cat's eye specs).

Thank you for briefly hijacking the taco blog with me.

Lois Lane said...

When I was a child, we owned a poodle. I do believe all dogs to to heaven, but gosh, poodles are not really the nicest of dogs. And they probably wouldn't be tasty in a taco either.

There. Return to the taco talk people.

But I do still want to know how to become a Bacon Ace.

Sparkle Plenty said...

I believe that to be a Bacon Ace one must: 1) Own stock in Armour; 2) Serve poodles wrapped in bacon as a canape; 3) Be a master of inductive reasoning; 4) Probably not be a strict observer of the Jewish or Moslem faith;
5) Purchase 1,000 Teen Burgers at A&W--along with a $2,500 diamond ring and $500 in other rings.

Lois Lane said...

Damn. Most of that stuff is easy, but my reasoning is kinda weak.

Maybe I'll try to become a Pancake Duchess...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Mmmmmmm...pancakes.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Yeah, yeah...You say, "Mmmmm pancakes," and the next thing your poor Cousin Saul knows, he's parked across the street from a Rodeo Drive IHOP, watching helplessly while the girls pop into a boutique to "check out the Louis Vuitton luggage...as long as nooprah's stuffing his piehole, we might as well kill some time..." Another fine mess your stomach will get Saul into, Ollie.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Stuffing my piehole? You must mean stuffing my pancakehole...or tacohole...or something.

Cake said...

Sparkle! Welcome back!

And, umm, that's all I've got to say...cuz I don't know to start with the spicy fishy poodle pancake diamond ring tacos.

I'll just be over here. Let me know when yer finished eating/shopping.

Sparkle Plenty said...

There is something about the word "tacohole" that is filthy beyond redemption. Filthier-sounding than "piehole." Who knows why.

Why "piehole"? Sheesh. Don't you remember the day the girls bought mink stoles while you were backstroking through a vat of McDonald's apple pies in Walla Walla? The Day Pie Made Saul Cry (to be sung to the tune of The Day the Music Died).

Sparkle Plenty said...

Cakelicious one! Thank you. It's nice to be back. Madre de Dios: I'll NEVER be done eating and shopping. Heavy Helen and I are going to let out our Homer Simpson belts a notch or two and waddle on over to the Virtual All U Can Eat Taco Bar now...See you at recess!

Anonymous said...

"But I do still want to know how to become a Bacon Ace."

While I appreciate all the thought that went into how to become a bacon ace that others posted it was really not at all that complicated. I simply saw a void. Nobody was championing for bacon so I stood up, slapped a title on, and headed out the door.

Uh...that and I have eaten an obscene amount of bacon in my life.

Anonymous said...

Doh! That was me above obviously.

Cake said...

So you didn't have to kill a lot of other, umm, enemy aces in combat over bacon to get the title?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Bacon is a place? You must mean heaven, right?

Lois Lane said...

Bacon is not a place. Bacon is a state of mind.

Go Bacon Ace, Go!

Cake said...

Someone on this blog is going on The List.

Anyone care to guess who?

Anonymous said...

" So you didn't have to kill a lot of other, umm, enemy aces in combat over bacon to get the title?"

I guess not. I mean I didn't, and here I am with the title and nobody's knocking down my door demanding that I give it back or duel for it's rights. But don't get me wrong I'd do it for the honor of bacon if it came down to it.