Monday, May 07, 2007

Because I have a blog I must review Spider-Man 3

This movie is so painfully bad you should go see it.

I'm not making up the following:

1. Peter Parker dances three different times for no particular reason.

2. There are four songs performed that don't involve Peter dancing.

3. That is a total of 7 musical numbers in a superhero movie.

4. The soft pretzels, 6 tacos, and popcorn chicken I ate were all delicious.

5. If you hear anyone refer to this movie as 'ass', they would be correct.

6. And not even a good looking ass....this movie is a cellulite ridden giant ass. With pimples. And hair all over it.

7. The more I think of this movie the more I hate it. George Bush should attack it.

8. John Kerry should attack it....and then change his mind about attacking it.

9. This movie is the real reason behind global warming. I think.

10. Nothing for #10....oh wait....did I mention this movie blows? (I guess there really was something for number 10.)


Lois Lane said...

This review is incomplete...

What did you have to drink with the tacos, pretzel and popcorn chicken?

cake said...

Excellent, you just saved me $10...which I can now spend on lunchtime tacos.

Life is good.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Silly girl....I had lemonade. What else would one drink with said gourmet foods?

Lois Lane said...

True. It's hard to get a nice chianti at the multiplex.

Anonymous said...

...and fava beans.

bacon ace said...

It pains me to say it but NoOprah's right about this movie; it blows. I tried desperately to like it, but in the end I had to face the facts.
The painful thing is that I promised to take my little brother and sister to it this coming weekend, not thinking that there'd be any way that I wouldn't want to see it again. How wrong was I?

bacon ace said...

"Silly girl....I had lemonade. What else would one drink with said gourmet foods?"

Mulk perhaps? Wait, is that milk from the Hulk's teat?

cake said...

I can just see the new ad campaign! The Hulk with a nice white moustache..."Got Mulk?"

cake said...

You can get good red wine at the theatres here. Neener.

Lois Lane said...

Canada really is the promised land, isn't it?

cake said...

Yes, yes it is.

Though I might've been fibbing about the red wine thing. Maybe.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

The Framingham AMC theatre has one that serves beer and wine.

It's in America.

cake said...

Thank you for softening the blow by spelling "theatre" like a Canadian. Yer so very thoughtful!

rat said...


--steve cohen said...

Now Susan does not want to see Spidey 3 because of this blog.
We will probably see SHREK THE THIRD on Saturday, maybe Spidey 3 also, if I get my way, and can stay awake.
We already bough Happy Meal toys of Shrek and Puss In Boots, which ROCK!!!