Saturday, January 02, 2010

The First SNIPPETS of 2010

ME: "We should make a romantic comedy."

WIFEY: "Do you mind taking the DVD out of my ass?"


WIFEY: "You're annoying."

ME: "I'm not annoying."

WIFEY: "Yes you're annoying."

ME: "How do you figure?"

WIFEY: "You annoy me."



ME TO GUY AT PARTY: "Do you know any good roofers?"

GUY AT PARTY: "I know good people. I know roofers. I don't know any good roofers."


ME: "Look at this new romantic app I got just for us"

(shows Wifey cracklin' fire app)

WIFEY: ::rolls eyes::


ME: "So let me get this have an i-phone but you don't want to use the i-pod feature on it or any apps??"

MADDOG: "Correct."

ME: "So why did you even bother getting the i-Phone?

MADDOG: "For the phone."


THE FLASHDANCE GUY: "Are you watching The Winter Classic?"

ME: "I'm at work."

THE FLASHDANCE GUY: "Oh, I thought you might have had the day off and were watching The Winter Classic."

ME: "But you called me at the store."

THE FLASHDANCE GUY: "I thought you might be at home."



MY LISTING ON EBAY: "Will only ship within the USA"

GUY FROM DENMARK: "Can you ship it to Denmark?"



ME: "Hey."


HOAGY: "Why don't you come in tonight and say hello to my wife."

ME: "Okay...why?"

HOAGY: "She said you never come in anymore."

ME: "So she wants me to come in?"

HOAGY: "She didn't really say that...she just commented on the fact that you don't come in anymore. Maybe she likes that you don't come in anymore."


ME: "So, do you know about the trip out west or is it a surprise from Hoag?"

HOAG'S WIFE: "What trip out west?"



Cake said...

So to sum up:

You're annoying and people are always mad at you.


I got the fireplace app thingy's useless for marshmallows, in case you wondered.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Maddog just calls people and makes fireplace sounds.

Someone who isn't Cake said...

Did Maddog get hit on the head at some point by any chance?

Just curious.

Apple said...

There is an app for hitting him over the head.

Lois said...

I got the fireplace app husband's reaction? "You amuse yourself, don't you?"

Ohhhhh! Ahhhhh! said...

They also have a fireworks app.

Snap snap ohhhhh said...

And a glow stick one.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Maybe you can get a good roofer app?