Friday, April 13, 2007

Blood, breakfast, and buddies.

Years ago at this party my friend 'Dwayne' was drunk and passed out on a chair and people started goofing on him...shaving cream on his hand, stuffed animals under his arms, all sorts of silly stuff. Harmless stuff. Stuff we did to Dwayne kinda stuff.

And then one guy thought it would be a riot to shave Dwaynes mustache.

Well, guess what? Shaving someones mustache when they're passed out is not funny. It's a jerk thing to do so I stopped it.

Stopping the shaving ended up with me getting my face punched over and over and over again. by the guy who had the shaving fetish.

The 'fight' ended up outside where I continued to take a beating...face repeatly slammed into a hood of a car until I was a bloody pulp.

The beauty of the whole thing was that after I was hit the first or second time I realized the pain didn't get any hurt, but getting hit again didn't hurt more.

So I started laughing at my 'attacker'. And he hit me some more. So I laughed harder. And got hit harder So I laughed harder. Got hit harder. Laughed. Hit. Laugh. Hit. Laugh.

I was winning this so called battle even though I was the one all bloody.

Finally a bunch of folks broke it up and kicked his ass and life went on.

A few hours later Dwayne woke up and me, Hoag, Moose, and Dwayne all went out to get breakfast. The three of them ....and me soaked in blood. Eating breakfast. All like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Good times. Good breakfast


Lois Lane said...

Boys are so silly!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I was dressed as a girl.

Lois Lane said...

Oh. Why didn't you just say this happened on Buddy Night?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Watch it there, you nappy haired..oh, nevermind.

cake said...

I'm still stuck on the part where people were putting stuffed toys under Dwayne's arms.

Must be a Yankee...I mean, American...thing.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Nobody put stuffed toys under his arms.

They put stuffed animals under his arms.

Do you actually read the full post or just skim for keywords? Ya nappy haired...oh, nevermind.

Lois Lane said...

Stuffed *animals*? Are we talking taxidermy here?

Boys are so silly!

cake said...

You think I just skim for keywords?!


I have a computer program that does the skimming for me.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Nappy haired tards.

cake said...

How rude. ::slap::

Lois Lane said...


This is an outrage! Who can we alert to get IANO removed from his blog for these comments?

Al Sharpton? Nah.

Ummmm...David Hasselhoff? He's a defender of the innocent--and the king of the Internet too!

I Ain't No Oprah said...


That nappy chested pretty boy?

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Spud said...

I remember that night. At Mrs. IANO's parents house. Wruss wasn't it?