I was watching the History Channel last night and they were doing a show about what people did before toilet paper.
All sorts of weird things. That's what.
But the thing that really freaked me was corn cobs. Corn. Cobs.
Seems folks would feed their pigs with corn on the cob. After the pigs were done eating the people would take the discarded cobs and soak them in water until they were really soft and then use that to wipe themselves.
THEY WIPED THEMSELVES WITH CORN COBS!!!! (corn cobs chewed on by pigs I might add)
And then what did they do with them? Feed those to the retarded pigs? Reuse them? Bury them? Play touch football with them?
Did the bathroom just have a big bucket of soaking corn cobs next to whatever they sat on? Did the whole family use the same cob? For how long?
I'm sure all these questions were answered but once I heard that people used corn cobs I switched the TV off.
And then I went into the bathroom and bowed to Jenny Cottonelle...