Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Bloody Massacre at Rampage U.

Don't you love when something 'tragic' happens and the media feels compelled to name the event? And the network news shows love to add theme music.

With the Virginia Tech thing, most media outlets have simply dubbed it:

Massacre at Virginia Tech

A few went with Rampage at Virginia Tech.

The real shame in all of this is that I don't have a tractor trailer filled with candles to sell for the upcoming candlelight vigils soon to occur.

On the news this morning one idiot college student pleaded with candle makers to send down free candles because the town has been wiped out of all candles.

I feel his candle-less pain.

I've now named the incident:
Waxless at Virginia Tech!

Theme song:
No Candles in the Wind


Anonymous said...

Wax on, wax off!

-- Lamont Cranston

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Democrats are now blaming Bush for the lack of candles in Virginia.

cake said...

Well it IS Bushy's fault. They needed more candles for the Iraqis vigils so he shipped 'em all over there.

I'm surprised you didn't see that on CNN...keep up, wouldja?

Anonymous said...

Democrats actually blame Bush for Virginia as a whole, and sod the candles.

-- Lamont Cranston

Anonymous said...

By the way -- not that you asked, or anything -- but Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez's new movie "Grindhouse" is three hours of empty-headed popcorn mega-fun.

Turn off your mind, pay your money and be prepared for a really good time, with no pretensions.

And don't forget to talk to the screen.

-- Lamont Cranston

Anonymous said...

Grindhouse at Virginia Tech

cake said...


I liked the second movie a LOT better than the first one...ya gotta love (to hate) Kurt Russell's character. Plus Tarantino really knows how to write.

So you don't own a tv but you do go to movies? Good. I was getting a little worried about you...was thinking of arranging an intervention.

Anonymous said...


Quentin Tarantino is a MUCH better director than Robert Rodriguez -- but there were enough little jokes and winks to 1970s schlock films in both that neither dragged. Pacing on both was pretty good.

And yes, "Death Proof" was a much, much better movie. It even had a reference to the Charles Bronson stinker "Telefon", which I saw... in the movies.

Seeing "Grindhouse" was an excuse to bond with my kid bruddah (I'm 39, he's 23.) Because nothing says "fraternal bonding" like two men spending three hours in a darkened movie theater ignoring each other.

As for the television: One of my closest friends is moving in with her fiancee, and has threatened to give me a television. I'm thinking about scooping out the insides, sealing all the cracks with candle wax, and using it to store tropical fish.

If there must be an intervention, let it be for the television set. Not me.

-- Lamont Cranston

Confused in de nort' countree said...

So, like I'm a furriner, OK?
I'm not really up on your laws and stuff.

Is it Amendment 2A or something that says "The right of South Koreans to bear arms shall not be impinged?"

And what is it with this SOUTH Korea business? I thought the NORTH Koreans hated you guys.