Wednesday, August 06, 2008

THE question that mankind should have been pondering

I see something and instantly have to call The Hoag.

Nobody else comes to mind.

It's a question that's laid dormant for years. It's never even entered our minds. Or yours. Yet it really was always there.

Floating on the surface.

Sitting there. Unanswered. Unasked.

For decades it sat. In plain view for anybody with a brain.

I knew The Hoag would have the answer. He had to have the answer. I hoped he would have the answer.

I was nervous.

Very nervous.

I dialed up his number (actually I pushed one button as he is on speed dial for just such a situation)

::rrrring rrrring:: ::ringring:: (actually not really a ring...more of a beepbeep or something)

It felt like forever.

But he answered.

I took a deep breath and asked the question.

I could practically see his heart stop. (Or did it beat quicker? I really have no clue as we were on the phone.)

Hoag said one word...if in fact it was a word.

A stunned Hoag could only answer with a hushed: "Woo!"

I paused. Re-grouped, and then asked him again. We discussed. We used logic.

We had no real answer. We were flummoxed. If in fact flummoxed is a word.

We discussed some more.

But we really had no idea who was faster...Speedy Gonzalez or the Road Runner.

None at all.


Thank you to DC Comics for raising this question in the new Looney Tunes comic, issue #165 avaialble at your local comic retailer. To find a comic shop in your area call 1-888-Comic Book or look on the internet at


Lois Lane said...

Road Runner. Definitely Road Runner, because.....

Oh, I have no idea why. But definitely Road Runner.

cake said...


And it's really pretty obvious, too.

trout week rep said...

Mind you, a trout could outpace both of them. It's a fact.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Flummoxed is a word, as is dormant.

Speedy Gonzalez is much faster than Speedy Gonzlez.

In answer to your query and despite the excellence of the answers of my esteemed colleagues Cake and Lois: Lily. Lily is faster than either one. Try chasing her and you will find out. She's not a cartoon? Oh, yes. Yes, she is.

(Note: Being kissed on the neck by Speedy Gonzalez would be more intimate than being whispered to by the Road Runner. Ain't nothin' intimate 'bout "Beep Beep.")

Serve me right if there's a typo in this comment.

Lois Lane said...

Sparkle: Oh, for sure Lily could out run either one of these toons.

But could she out run Dan-El? I'm not so sure. We should race em'....maybe sell tickets and t-shirts. It could be the way to funding the Girls Navy.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Lois: Excellent suggestion! Hmm. Dan-El might well be faster. But, think how much worse it would be if Dan-El had four legs...

(On second thought, a silver lining would be that you could hit the sideshow circuit with him, retire, and go spend all of your time at Jayne's hair salon...)

Redbeard76 said...

A kiss on the neck is faster than both RR and Speedy.

Redbeard76 said...

Shoot! Scooped by Sparkle.

I should know better not to skim.

wally west said...

-Eleanor Road Runner

-Speedy Madonna

-Rocky Road Runner

-Happiness is A Warm Gonzalez

-Why Don't We Do In The Road Runner

-Speedy You're A Rich...whatever it is you are.

Anonymous said...

Speedy Gonzales is faster over short distances (mouse hole-fridge-mousehole), but Road Runner has it all over him on longer races (across, say, Wyoming.)

-- Lamont "Politician" Cranston