Friday, August 01, 2008

The Saga of Captain Moneybags

So I'm at this anniversary party the other night at this fancy function place and I get up to get something to drink...I look around my table and ask if anybody would like a drink.

The polite thing to do. Correct?

A few people say yes, I saunter up to the bar, get said drinks, return to table, distribute drinks.
A nice normal thing to do.

Folks are talking and dancing and having fun. I'm doing two of those things.

I finish my drink and decide to get another. So I ask again if anybody wants something. I take a few orders, re-saunter to bar, repeat.

Drinks are flowing. Folks are having good conversation. You know...a party.

I look around. Some folks are with empty glasses so I ask if they would like something to drink.

Take orders. Saunter. Distribute.

Laughs. Dancing. (not me since the 'accident') Talking. Fun. You know...a party.

Drinks get emptied. I look around to see who might need a refill. Take orders. Saunter.


Possibly repeat again. Possibly saunter some more.

And then Wifey comes up to me. Not that she cares or anything, but it seems I'm buying folks too many drinks. $50.00 or so a round. Maybe 5 or 6 trips to the bar. Tips galore.

She's just curious what's gotten into her Captain.

I look at her.

And then I tell her.

"It's an open bar."

And that my friends is the Saga of Captain Moneybags....generous to a fault.

At an open bar.


cake said...

So to sum up:

IANO is a lush...and possibly only has one leg. Or something.

Lois Lane said...

I'll take a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, please. And a round of Crusty Bunkers on ice for my friends. Thanks!

Jayne said...

Did you try to pretend in your head you were paying, so you would feel important?

Hang on Cake, if I Ain't No Oprah only has one leg, then when he carried the drinks, he would have spilled them all because he had to hop (he said saunter but we will assume he hopped) there and back each time.

No wonder he had to go to the bar so much. He spilled most of the drinks before anyone got to drink them.

People weren't dancing, they were slipping all over the wet floor.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Jayne,

I am important.

(there is a viagra joke just layin' there but I won't even bother)

cake said...

"there is a viagra joke just layin' there"

So, for the viagra joke to work, it needs viagra? Ironic, that.

Kathy said...

IANO You're a Rich Man

IANO You Can Drive My Bar

Drinks....Here, There and Everywhere

Can't Buy Me Bud

Drink Together

I Want to Hold Your Beer

I'll Follow The Rum

Long Tall Saki

PolyEthanol Pam

Strawbery Spritzers Forver

Sweet Little Sherry

Take Good Care of My Bourbon

Something in the Wine

Ticket to Rye

Drink For Yourself

When I'm 64 Sheets to the Wind

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Kathy is on FIRE!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Daquiri

Day Tipper

Magical Whiskerey Tour

Mean MR. Muscatel

I Am The Harvey Wallbanger

cousin saul said...

...or something.

Anonymous said...

Now that's better...And thank you...

Jayne said...

This is possibly my favourite post. Apart from the rain machine one. Damn film rain.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Thank you Jayne! Maybe I'll 'buy' you a drink sometime...

Or something.

Clinky said...

Get wifey liquored up before you start putting Captain Moneybags in her C-Section.

Sparkle Plenty said...

"Captain Moneybags" is overused. Next time, I suggest you try:

Captain Geltsacs
Captain Rupeetotes
Captain Yenpacks

Or something.