Sunday, August 03, 2008

Another untold tale from the files of Doctor Intimacy

So we all attend functions and parties and family gatherings, correct?

And what happens at all of these events?

You arrive and you say hi to folks.

Men usually greet other men with a handshake, they greet women with maybe a kiss on the cheek.

Sometimes just a nod of the head or maybe a wave.

When relatives are involved you pray for the air kiss. No actual contact with Auntie Gulch please!

So anyhow...

I arrive at this party last week and start saying hi to folks, hands shaked, cheeks kissed, nods given, waves a plenty.

And then The Brit walks up to me and starts to kiss my cheek. And I tell her to kiss my neck.

And she does so without hesitation. I have her well trained.

And then I tell her to whisper in my ear.

But she doesn't. Or won't. Or something.

And the party goes on. No big deal.

Flash forward a few hours:

The party is winding down and the obligatory nods, and waves, and handshakes, and goodbye cheek kisses commence.

And then The Brit walks up to me and starts to kiss me goodbye on my cheek and I tell her to kiss my neck instead.

And she does so without hesitation. I have her well trained.

And then I tell her to whisper in my ear.

But she doesn't. Or won't. Or something.

And the party ends. No big deal.

-----

So the week goes on and I ponder why she won't whisper in my ear. Is it too intimate?

She had no problem kissing my neck. Is whispering in the ear some strange intimate British thing?

I have no idea.

So I start asking folks:

"What is more intimate...kissing someone on the neck or whispering in their ear?"

And people take the question seriously. They want to get it 'right'. And they ponder it and explain why they think such and such is more intimate (not sexual).

I ask dozens and dozens of people. Most of those people answer the same way.

It turns out to be a good question.

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And then about a week later I run into The Brit at a restaurant and we discuss the party and I tell her about the question and then ask her what she thinks.

And she answers.

"I think a kiss on the neck is way more intimate then whispering in someone's ear."

And I reply:

"So why wouldn't you whisper in my ear last week at the party?"

And The Brit says:

"I had nothing I wanted to say to you."



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And if you look up to the top right of this blog you'll see a little poll I'm running. Feel free to click on your choice.

8 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

Please add "Trout Fishing" as a poll option. Thank you.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Sometimes I whisper to trout.

dr. intimacy said...

*Eleanear Rigby

*Magical Whispery Tour

*Happiness is a Warm Neck

*Twist and Whisper

*Waxman

*Get Neck

*Psssst, I Love You

cake not signed in said...

Kiss on the neck is way more intimate.

Don't ask me why.

cake not signed in said...

p.s.
As in...I *can* explain why, I just don't wanna.

p.p.s.
I'd whisper to a trout, but I'd never kiss him on his neck. Wait...do trouts even have necks??

Sparkle Plenty said...

I still vote for "Trout Fishing" as the height of intimacy. My invisible cyber write-in vote is now posted in your poll.

(I had no idea you were "The Trout Whisperer!" I salute you. It's not easy. Trout are not good at whispering; they're kind of spitty, and OOF...the worm breath!)

Clinky said...

I'll tell you what's more intimate: Stuffing Captain America into her C-Section.

cake again not signed in said...

I had time to think about this (and did some consulting of my own) and I have found a fatal flaw in the question:

A kiss on the neck is always intimate...whereas a whisper is intimate unless the content is something like, "Hey baby, your clothes would look great on my bedroom floor" or "I like anchovies!"

Just sayin'