Earlier this year I swore off dollar stores forever.
Forever is actually about three months.
So anyhow, the other day I needed something and the dollar store had them. A different dollar store I might add then the one I swore off forever.
On their sign outside and on their windows and all throughout the store it proclaimed "EVERYTHING IS A DOLLAR!"
So I brought up six items to the register and held up one of them and asked:
ME: "How much is this?"
MONKEY: "Everything is a dollar."
ME: "Even these?"
MONKEY: "Yup."
ME: ::holding up another item:: "How much is this?"
MONKEY: "That's a dollar also...EVERYTHING is a dollar."
ME: "I notice on the candy bars it says TWO FOR A DOLLAR....How much for just one?"
MONKEY: "Fifty cents for one, two for a dollar."
ME: "So EVERYTHING isn't really a dollar, now is it?"
MONKEY: "It's two for a dollar."
ME: "Can I buy your cash register for a dollar?"
MONKEY: ::Puzzled look:: "The cash register isn't for sale."
ME: "So EVERYTHING isn't really a dollar, now is it?"
MONKEY: "It's not for sale."
ME: "What if I gave you fifty thousand dollars for the cash register...would you sell it?"
MONKEY: "Ummmm....I guess so. I'd have to clear it with the manager first."
ME: "So EVERYTHING isn't really a dollar, now is it?
MONKEY: "You're just teasing me, aren't you?"
ME: "Give me a dollar and I'll tell you."
Friday, August 15, 2008
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13 comments:
To sum up:
Everything in the Nerd Shoppe is a dollar today!
Your BEST blog in months! Very funny stuff...or something.
Dear Lois,
That was YESTERDAY!
DAMMIT!
I was so excited about Switch Flops I forgot!
Switch Flops are TWO for a dollar.
"That was yesterday!"
Isn't that what Republicans say about Election Day, when putting up signs in Democratic areas?
ARE there any Democratic areas in MA?
And -- I have not forgotten, you, IANO.
It's on. Oh yes, it's on.
-- Lamont "Dollar Bill" Cranston
P.S. It's people like you who cause the majority of retail-related homicides in this country.
So, what did you buy?
Jayne's Mum
Jayne's Mum:
I'm so glad you asked! He bought the following:
- A little plastic toy pistol and holster to wear it on.
- Four candy bars.
- Cheap knock-off Switch Flops!! in camouflage colours.
- An "I LOVE BUSH" bumper sticker.
- Hair ribbons for the next Buddy Night.
You're welcome!
6 pairs of reading glasses.
I don't need them for actual reading, they just look real good on me.
But it was 6 pairs for a dollar so he was able to get everything else, too, once he put two of the candy bars back.
Oh that IANO!
I think the monkey should have given you a good ol' fashioned monkey-thumpin' with a $1 spatula. And then he or she should have charged you exactly $1 for that good ol' fashioned monkey-thumpin'.
"monkey-thumpin'" sounds kinda wrong. Just sayin'.
Monkey-thrashin'? Better? Same?
Monkey-wallopin'? Better? Same?
"The monkey should have preached you a sermon from the Gospel of Monkey Pain?" Better? Same?
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