Tuesday, July 06, 2010

This is the one about the buck-toothed gal.


You stare at them. You can't help it.

Burn victims.


Any freak or misfit you look at.

You know it's wrong....but you always try for at least a glimpse.

This here story is about the buck-toothed gal.

(The second most emabarrassing moment of my life...the first is when I called 4th grade teacher 'Mom')

So anyhow...

Years and years ago Buck-Toothed gal used to come in my shop.

From the very beginning I was fascinated with her teeth.

They were huge and she was pretty. Good figure, charming personality. Sexy.

Buck teeth.

And not just any buck teeth...but BUCK TEETH. Tojo-propoganda style buck teeth.


Bugs Bunnyish buck teeth.

I'd try not to stare.

Yet I always would.

I couldn't wait for her to come back in. Luckily she was a semi-regular and I got to gaze upon those chiclets on a semi-regular basis.

Until one day.

On that day she caught me staring.

I was clearly looking at her buck teeth. I couldn't pretend otherwise.

What could I do??? My mind raced.

I looked right at her bucky-boys.

She looked at me.

I spoke first:

ME: "I love your teeth!"

HER: "Thank you!"


She kept coming in after that. Always flashing those magnificent buck teeth. Always smiling. Proud of her teeth that I said I loved.

I don't even like buck teeth.

But hers were something. She wore them proudly.

And I had to look at them.

Then she stopped coming in.

Years and years went by.


Recently she made an appearance.

I was no longer fascinated by her buck teeth.

She was now fat and old.


Cake said...

So to sum up:

A sexy body and charming personality make up for bad teeth?

Brits everywhere just sighed in relief!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

She didn't have bad teeth...she had buck teeth.

They were clean and well cared for.

Buck Toothed Beatles said...

Get Buck

Buck in the USSR

I Am The Beaver

I Wanna Hold Your Teeth

Anonymous said...

Iano has a buck tooth fetish, pass it on!

Spelling Nazi said...

How about that time you misspelled "embarrassing"?

Betty said...

No Kidding...same thing happened to me in grade 4! I was reading a book hidden in my desk and it seems the teacher called my name several times - I answered "in a minute mom" Dead silence in the class must have alerted me to something going on. I looked up to find 35 kids staring at me and a teacher with a shocked look on her face. No detention. I suppose she thought it was punishment enough to be mortified!
I have absolutely no feelings about buck teeth. Rarely see them these days!


Anonymous said...

I've been fascinated and turned on by buck teeth since I was a kid. It got so that I actually and purposely developed buck teeth on myself (being a thumb sucker helped lots). I'm referring to the type that stick out, over one's lower lip when one "closes" their mouth. And, yes, they're hard to find on others these days.