Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Terrorists come in all shapes and sizes and rural farmlands

I would just like to say thank you to the Bush Administration for what they did yesterday at that terrorist school in Nickel Odeon, Pennsylvania. The Amish are a threat to National Security and it took guts to infiltrate their headquarters and take out 5 of their most dangerous operatives:

1. Sara Azi Abdul

2. Becky Hussein Marackabet

3. Suzie Atta

4. Jessica bin Laden

5. Laura Moussaui

I also think the idea of building a giant fence around Lancaster County, PA is a great idea and should keep the terrorists out of America....and Mexico.

God Bless America, George Bush, and the brave American that lost his life in the defense of this great land.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Too bad they struck while I was out getting donuts...

Anonymous said...

i think you've hit a new low.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Mrs Bacon Ace,

If we give in to them now then the Amish will have won.

Cake said...

Well, Bostongraf did want to see how he'd lower the bar once again...ta da!

Anonymous said...

Would you like your handbasket now, or immediately before your trip to hell?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

And what the hell is a handbasket anyhow?

And why are they needed in hell?

Sparkle Plenty said...

Oh, dude. Duuuuuuuuuude.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I've just been informed that the "terrorists' that were killed yesterday were actually just innocent young girls. Sorry for any confusion. Hopefully the Amish parents of these girls weren't surfing the web and stumbled upon my insensitive comments.

Though I still don't trust the Amish with their handbaskets and hell and stuff.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Oh, dude. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

It's BostonGraf's fault...he dared me!

Cake said...

Damn that Bostongraf!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I think we should put BostonGraf in a handbasket (whatever that is) and send HIM straight to hell.

Lois Lane said...

Handbaskets are pretty small. You could only fit 2, maybe 3 meerkats in one at best.

So forget the handbasket. Splurge and rent a limo for your trip to eternal damnation. You've earned it.

bostongraf said...

After hearing about the whole story yesterday, I did comment that the gunman had to be a pretty lousy shot to have over 600 rounds of ammo and a dozen little girly girls in a one room school house, but only be able to take out five of them.

I then immediately pointed out that it's probably a good thing that I don't believe in hell...

Anonymous said...

Thankfully he was a good enough shot to kill himself and rid us of him. Too bad he didn't start with that at home that morning.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Bacon Ace,

You are wonderful, caring human being.

You will NEVER go anywhere in a handbasket.

I'm glad I know you.

Anonymous said...

Dear NoOprah:

If you're interested in membership, we have an opening for you...

Anonymous said...

Twist, twist

Anonymous said...

Awww shucks. I did what any caring person (read: Texan) would do; I wished death upon those that would harm others.

NoOprah,
Ye'r a good egg yourself. Extra Christmas cookies for you this year.

Off Topic: Speaking of ms bacon ace's baking skills; she made bacon corn bread Sunday. Gotta love her!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Someone just pulled off the greatest gag ever pulled on me.

You will be rewarded.

And thats all I'm sayin'...

Cake said...

Dear Prankster:

You're my hero.

Sincerely,

Cake.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Ok...here's the prank:

This elderly (though hot) broad comes into my store with a piece of paper in hand (always a sign that customer needs help)

ME: "Hi...may I help you?"

HER: "Yes...I'm looking for a book"

ME: "What book?"

HER: "This one(looking at paper)... GO TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET"

ME in shopkeeper mode: Ummm...we don't have that right now...would you like me to order it for you?"

HER: "Umm...sure"

ME: "May I have your name and number?"

She obliges.

I can't wait to call her up when her pornography arrives...

Roger the Shrubber said...

You aiding cake in bombing my blog? hmmm?

:-P

I Ain't No Oprah said...

You have a blog? I thought you had shrubs?

Anonymous said...

I thought it was a book of knitting patterns...

Anonymous said...

We shut down all of the computer labs in Amish Country out of respect.

And the ladies are currently weaving a strech limo sized handbasket for your journey to Hell. Currently you can only get there in a handbasket, but we hear you English folks are working on some kind of fancy, high speed tunnel train.

Anonymous said...

Silly Amish. Trains don't go to Hell, only major cities across the continental US, ...which I suppose in your minds is Hell.

We use trap doors for Hell. If you Amish ever went there you would know this!

Anonymous said...

We have plenty of room down here for the Amish!
C'mon down, no one ever leaves, so it must be good!

Anonymous said...

At least none of the boys were injured!

Anonymous said...

marc foley,

The Amish community is now working overtime to create a handbasket designed just for you.

Anonymous said...

You're all shunned now.

Every last electricity, vehicle, flat screen plasma T.V. microwave with popcorn option loving one of you.

Don't come knocking on OUR simple doors when you want a quilt!

Anonymous said...

Christ, and you accuse me of not taking my meds?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Well did you?