Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My Dinner With Kramer

As you probably know by now Michael 'Kramer' Richards had a bad weekend. I had dinner and conversation with him last night.

Here is how that went:

ME: "So before we begin would you like a smaller or larger steak?"

KRAMER: "Bigger."

ME: "And after dinner would you prefer a cigar or a..."

KRAMER: "Cigger-rette"

ME: "So before you became famous you had lots of odd jobs....I heard you once worked in a cemetery. What did you do there?"

KRAMER: "Digger"

ME: "And you also worked in the fields in Texas looking for black gold....Texas tea....what did you do there?"

KRAMER: "Oil rigger"

ME: "And you went to college...what was your favorite part of that?"

KRAMER: "Keggers"

ME: "Great steaks, huh? Would you like a beer or wine or maybe some...."

KRAMER: 'Ligger"

ME: "So lets get on with this weekend....your old pal Julie-Louis Dreyfus had some harsh words to say about it."

KRAMER: "Frig her"

ME: "You must have read all the stuff on the Internet about you....you do have a computer, correct?"

KRAMER: " 80 Gigger"

ME: "Lets talk a bit about show biz...who is your favorite actress?"

KRAMER: "Renee Zellweger"

ME: "Actor?"

KRAMER: "Arnold Schwarzenegger"

ME: "Any favorite rock stars?"

KRAMER: "Jagger"

ME: "Any favorite or beloved cartoon characters from childhood?

KRAMER: "Tigger"


And that was the gist of my dinner with Kramer. Seemed like a nice man with no issues.

12 comments:

Cake said...

Everyone's speechless...go figure!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

It figgers.

Anonymous said...

After Michael Richard's "bad week-end" happened, The Walt Disney Corporation got all freaked out and they changed the name of the Winnie The Pooh friend, Tigger. He will now be called Tegroe.

Cake said...

I also heard poor Kramer has issue with traditional Irish dancers.

(You know...jiggers.)

Anonymous said...

::sniggers::

Anonymous said...

"Seemed like a nice man with no issues."

This from the man with a Hitler fetish? That makes me feel better.

maddog said...

...or read the book by Randall Kennedy.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Kooky
Rerun
Actor
Makes
Error
Randomly

I wish I could stop.

Cake said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Sparkle,
That's why acronyms are the best super power.

Clinky said...

Buried anger has prevailed during tirade.

Anonymous said...

Clinky, if only Kramer was a robot.