It's really quite simple. Women are bitches.
HUH???!!! What did he just say????
You heard me...... Bitches. Woman are bitches and that's why they don't spit.
You see, spit has a 'bitchy enzyme' in it and women need it to survive. Men don't need it and aint bitchy so we spit it out. Often.
Woman swallow the spit giving them their daily dose of Bitchy.
Now once in while you'll see a woman hock a loogie and you can bet your bitchy boots she'll probably be fairly pleasant the rest of the day.
But as you can probably tell women don't spit much. Cuz they're bitches. Spit-swallowin' bitches.
I aint making this up (I might be). It's science. Spitology.
The more you spit the nicer you are.
But Bitches, just don't do it in front of me. I like ya all girly. Even if ya are bitchy.
(Once in a great while I'll go a week or so without spitting...usually around tax time)