Friday, June 22, 2007

The Man of 1000 Faces

So last night buddy nite is winding down and the waiter brings the dessert for me, The Blonde, and the Hoag. Some kinda chocolate thing with ice cream and tons of raspberry sauce all over the plate.

While me and the Blonde eat our dessert the Hoag proceeds to:

1. Dab his finger in said raspberry sauce and make dot on forehead and then talk with a New Delhi accent.

::cleans off::

2. Dab his finger in said sauce, smear near left nostril, and act like a strung out cocaine addict.

::cleans off::

3. Dabs his finger in sauce and make stwo smears on both sides of his mouth to bring out his 'inner vampire'

::cleans off::

4. Dabs finger in sauce, makes smear on cheek, pretends he was in a fight.

::cleans off::

5. Refuses to take my suggestion to smear on cheeks like Indian war paint and scream out "woo-woo-woo' (or whatever it is native drunken indians say)

6. Dabs finger in sauce, applies as lip gloss and proceeds to let out his inner fem. And trust me....he has an inner fem.

And that is this weeks Buddy Nite round-up.


cake said...

Inner fem, huh. I guess that explains the shoes.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I don't think there is an actual explanation for the shoes.

There couldn't be.

Anonymous said...

Shoes, hell. Only women in India dot their foreheads.

Ain't you people got no kultcheral unnerstannin'?

-- Lamont "Om Mani Padni Hum" Cranston

Roger the Shrubber said...

was hoagy wearing his bows?

bacon ace said...

Inner fem? Is it in a constant schizophrenic struggle with his normal outer fem?

Tex said...

im just speechless....btw is hoag 12?

Jayne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bella said...

Next time, you could take him a colouring sheet and crayons to keep him occupied.

We don't have buddy nights here as such. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing....

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Tex,

Hoag is in his forties.

cake said...


If you scroll back through the IANO archives a bit, you'll see one buddy night was devoted to making paper airplanes.

I don't think paper and crayons would end well...

chinese guy said...

Roagy sure ris a rancy rad.

Clinky said...

That's it, I'm going to Buddy Night (tm) next week.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

That's right....El Clinkador is joining us next week.

Should be interesting.

Grand Chef pierre from de nort' countree said...

You and your friends, they're all what you call perverts.

If you understand the true gastronomie, you know that chocolate, ice cream, and straberry "sauce" is an humiliation and a provocation of the nature of criminality.

The proper way to prepare this dessert is chocolat, ice cream, and barbeque sauce.

Alors, I spit a lunger in the general direction of your "cuisine".

Anonymous said...

mmmmm, lunger