Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Natick Collection (or Natick Correction in Chinese)

So last night I go Christmas shopping at the Natick Mall...whoops....I mean "The Natick Collection".

That's what they call it now. The Natick Collection.

Pompous assholes.

Anyhow...years ago the Natick Mall was a decent, but not great mall.

York Steakhouse. Great smokeshop. Spencers (when Spencers was cool){or was I just younger?} Kaybee (when Kaybee was cool) Sears (when Sears was heck, Sears was never cool)

And then about 10-15 years ago they did a major expansion. It became this huge generic mall. You could be in any mall in America.

And it kinda sucked. (The Warner Brothers Store was kinda cool)

Stick with me...this is going somewhere. Maybe.

And now in the last few years they did another HUGE expansion to the Natick Mall...and now it's called The Natick Collection. Basically it's the Mall with a whole 'nother mall connected to it. The Collection part.

It's filled with the lamest most overpriced shops you've ever seen. Women's clothing stores with three dresses per rack (LOOK AT US...WE'RE A TRENDY SHOP WITH ONLY THREE DRESSES PER RACK!! And they're only $700.00 each!)

And Men's shoes stores with $1400.00 pairs of shoes!

And on and on.

Useless empty shops.

Huge wide aisles thru the mall...all without people (The old part of the mall was jammed)

So when am I getting to the point?

So anyhow back in the late 1800's folks used the word GAY to mean happy.

Then sometime in the 1970s or so the word GAY meant homosexual.

And then just recently GAY started to just mean LAME. STUPID. "That's so gay!"

But now GAY has a new meaning. GAY means The Natick Collection.

You know...a place where Happy Lame Homosexuals shop.


If I want $1400.00 shoes I'll just borrow them from Hoagy.


Cake said...

Your random unasked-for fact of the day:

The Town of Natick looks exactly like the Town of Perth, Ontario.

Thank you for your time.

Sarah said...

That's like renaming The Skydome, The Rogers Center. What a pompus pompus jerk that jerk-faced itdiot is.

I hate him.

Cake said...

For what it's worth...he's dead.


(Assuming you're talking about Ted Rogers, of course...)

maddog said...


And in gay Natick, Perth is something that a woman carries around.

Sarah said...



Sparkle Plenty said...

Other unfortunate names for malls:

Thirty Shoppes over Tokyo
The Atrium on the River Kwai
The Village at Pork Chop Hill
Bargainship Potemkin

Lois Lane said...

When the husband and I first moved to this area, we stumbled across the old Natick Mall (or was it Shoppers World....I dunno. It was in Natick.) It had Hobby Town. And an actual Hickory Farms store. Not a kiosk. An actual store. And this wasn't even around Christmas.

It was like falling into a time warp from the 1970s. And it was great. But no more.

I have my own name for the new part of the Natick Collection. I call it "The Fancy Butt Part of the Mall We Never Shop In."

Cake said...


He had a heart attack back at the start of the month:

Sarah said...


Now I feel bad.

::whispers to cake:: pssssst Cake, are they changing it back to the skydome?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Lois,

That was Shopper's World before they tore it down to make room for Best Buy etc. (still called Shopper's World)

And (the old) Shoppers World was awesome.

I once worked there...Jordan Marsh.

Cake said...

Don't feel's not like you killed him. Unless you travelled back in...time...and...hey, where were you on December 2nd, anyways? Just asking, no reason.

Heel! Heel! Sit down! Good boy.

Sarah said...

I was totally at work all day...and then I was totally at a work Dinner. I have witnesses I swear!

And I do NOT have a twin that I may or may not know about, and also a robot that looks like me and also I hate peas...


bacon ace said...

The old Shoppers World was great. Toys R Us and Hobbytown. Whoo hoo! Now it's just a parking lot in the middle with separate stores surrounding it. It's like an inverted strip mall.

The Natick Collection is a pompous ass joke...but I do still shop there.

a donkey said...

"pompous ass joke"

Why must you be so hurtful?

Kathy said...

oh i'm feeling so nostalgic....
Hickory Farms. Sigh. Nothing says Christmas like a summer sausage and some sharp cheddar. Spenser's....loved those black lights when I was kid. Oh and those Shawn Cassidy posters.
York Steakhouse...steak, baked potato w/sour cream and a HUGE root beer.
IANO - do u recall that there were 2 stone llamas that you could climb on.

the very best thing about the natick collection: the birch trees sprouting up out of the floor stretching upwards toward the skylight

it's beautiful and it says "even the fake trees r trying to escape"

ol' beardy from de nort' countree said...

Seriously,A lovely holiday time to ya Nophy, and the same to all the assorted critters that hang out here.

Bob Baril said...

My son calls the Natick Collection, "THE BLIGHT"! I went there to shop for the first time (since it became "The Natick Collection") on Dec. 22. You may want to read "First Time at Natick Collection", my Dec. 22 entry at

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