Monday, June 01, 2009

Hooker Night



So Saturday night I'm at a party and I'm having a conversation with one of The Blueberry Blondes.

Talking about our kids, our jobs, spouses, etc...

All of a sudden The Blueberry Blonde suggests we have a neighborhood Hooker Night!

OH.

MY.

GOD.

A Hooker Night!

In the neighborhood.

A Hooker Night!

My mind starts racing.

What does one do to prepare for A Hooker Night?

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives*

Do I arrive early? Or late (Ewwwww!)?

How much money do I bring?

Will there be male hookers for the broads?

A Hooker Night.

Somehow it's more interesting because a woman thought it up.

I spot Blueberry Blondes Hubby and he's beaming when told the news!

Hooker Night!

I'm nervous. I've never attended a Hooker Night. Boxers or Briefs? Commando?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

------------

Turns out The Blueberry Blonde said 'Poker Night'

Do I arrive early? Or late?

How much money should I bring?

Boxers or Briefs? Commando?

Poker Night.

--------

*Hedley Lamarr

7 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

Sparkle sez: Be sure to use your best hooker face on poker night. Heavy on the mascara and rouge. They'll be too busy staring to concentrate on the cards.

Groucho sez: Poker? I hardly even know her!

Cake said...

IANO might look nice in fishnets and heels, too.

Or not.

Lois Lane said...

We probably couldn't afford him girls. Bur maybe if we pooled our money we could get him to dance for us.

Cake said...

*throws two week supply of wine and book money into pool*

I'm in!

Unclear on the concept said...

[dives into pool after money]

Sparkle Plenty said...

High probability of him dancing if Cake sends him her porchja.

Cake said...

*packs up some porchja in small baggies...drops it in the mail*

*thinks for a sec*

*writes "catnip" on the customs declaration*