Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas, SEARS!

So last night I stepped into a 1972 time warp.

In America we call it SEARS.

I saw colors I didn't even know existed anymore. It was an avocado/harvest gold explosion of bland.

Racks filled with clothes that were never in style.

Racks of clothes that NEVER WILL be in style.

Bins of wrapping paper that you wouldn't wrap fish in.

Brand names nobody has ever heard of.

Even the lights in the store seemed dim.

The customers were a hodgepodge of fat and sweattpants.

Old folks that were old in 1972 were shopping. Slowly. Oldly.

I spotted one obese hairy felon at the 'perfume' counter sniffing from a bottle of something (Craftsman for Ladies? Kenmore for Her!)

A SEARS jewelry counter.

I glanced at the Notions Department.

It was all so sad.

It was all so SEARS.


paul howley said...

That's a funny coincidence..just yesterday I stopped into our local W.T.Grant store and the Montgomery Ward Supercenter. They were full of crap that nobody would want to buy...lots of spools of thread though. Are those "sundries" or "notions?"

Cake said...

I think maybe IANO took a wrong turn and ended up in Wal*Mart.

Merry Christmas, eh?

Tex said...

Why you hating on Sears? or the 70's for that matter????

Merry Merry Christmas!!!!

Sparkle Plenty said...

I love this post. I mean, I love me my decrepit department stores and my slow/old/odd shoppers, too. And, let's face it: I also dig the avocado/harvest gold explosions. This post brought it all sharply to life. SEARS. GRANTS. RICH'S. WARD'S. I have a sudden, powerful notion to buy notions. Sundries! I need sundries!