Thursday, January 11, 2007

Dumb as a country shaped like a boot.

I'm getting ready to ship a package to Italy so I go to the US Post office website to check out restrictions and stuff (www.usps.com) and here is a partial list of what I CAN'T ship to Italy.

Losers.

The following list is real (though I edited out the stuff that made sense to restrict....weapons, radioactive materials, violins, etc)

Prohibitions (130)

Albums of any kind (of photographs, postcards, postage stamps, etc.).


Articles of platinum or gold; jewelry; and other valuable articles unless sent as insured packages.

Artificial flowers and fruits and accessories for them.

Bells and other musical instruments and parts thereof.



Clocks and supplies for clocks.

Coral mounted in any way.

Exposed photographic and cinematographic films.

Footwear of any kind.

Haberdashery and sewn articles of any kind, including trimmings and lace; handkerchiefs; scarves; shawls, needlework including stockings and gloves; bonnets, caps, and hats of any kind.

Leather goods.

Lighters and their parts, including lighter flints.

Nutmeg, vanilla; sea salt, rock salt; saffron.

Perfumery goods of all kinds (except soap).

Playing cards of any kind.

Postage stamps in sealed or unsealed letter-post shipments.

Ribbons for typewriters.

Roasted or ground coffee and its substitutes; roasted chicory.

Saccharine and all products containing saccharine.

Toys not made wholly of wood.

---------------

Italy is now officially the dumbest planet on earth.

And does anyone want to buy my roasted chicory business?

25 comments:

cake said...

I wrote out a comment and I thought it was kind of clever...for me...and then blogger ate it.

I blame Italy.

Lois Lane said...

What about snakes? Can I send Luigi a box of snakes?

Luigi said...

I hava some a snake for you...::pinchpinch::

cake said...

Dare me to mail a gold brooch covered with artificial flowers, a bell, a small clock, a little bit of coral (for colour), and pinned to a toy doll's leather shoe that's been soaked in vanilla-scented perfume and decorated with lace and postage stamps?

ace of clubs said...

Bigoted Italians...

maddog said...

Interestingly enough, in the book Mussolini's Italy: Life Under the Fascist Dictatorship, 1915-1945
this is a match to Mussolini's list of favorite things

mussolini said...

I'll have you know I look smokin' in a lacy bonnet and stockings...

maddog said...

And wooden toys have been outlawed since the Geppetto incident of 1951.

Geppetto said...

Oh how I miss my little boy.

pinocchio said...

That restraining order's still in effect, Geppetto. Don't make me call the cops.

Leonardo said...

We're really hip!

Leonardo said...

We're really hip!

Donatello said...

Hey - get a grip!

Donatello said...

Hey - get a grip!

motheragawd said...

I am Italian. And I don't let enyone ship typewriter ribbons to me, either. Or mounted coral. We have our reasons. Get over it.

motheragawd said...

And we can spell things enyway we want to. Get over that, too.

cake said...

How about pleying cerds or stemps? Venilla?

Lois Lane said...

Stemp was always my favorite Stooge.

Aside from Iggy, that is.

Anonymous said...

You're a broad, what could you possibly know about the Stooges?

Anunomess said...

Lois, I believe Iggy was a Pop, not a Stooge. (But close anough, enyways.)

And they say, kids cain't speel tadey... (Or should that be, tipe?)

Bemisdown said...

Hold on now....

Italy gave us:

The Godfather.
The Renaissance.
The GOOD kind of pizza...not that greasy Greek crap.
An enemy in WWII that decided halfway through to surrender because they forgot why they were fighting AND their mother's were calling them for dinner.
An awesome shape so you can tell if you're looking at a map of Europe upside down.
Bemis.

They just don't want all that stupid stuff-can you blame them?

Lois Lane said...

Anonymous:

The Three Stooges aren't really all that funny. That's all I need to know.

Anunomess:

Google Iggy and the Stooges. Trust me, Pop was a Stooge. And he was really my favorite.

Gazongalicious said...

If we did not have Italy we would not have had Corrado's. If we did not have Corrado's that would have been way sad.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

mmmm....Corrado's. Angie made the pizza, correct?

Anunomess said...

You're absolutely right Lois!
I missed that whole Igg and Stooge connection [post Stooge era, I guess].

PS Please don't send me to that site again, before I've had my caffeine. [scary]