Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The Unspeakable Areola

So yesterday I'm on a business forum and the subject of the areola comes up. You know, the areola...that brownish/pinkish piece of real estate that circles the nipple.

What about the areola is so forbidden? On TV you can see every part of a woman's breast except the areola. And of course, the evil nipple.

But the real part of the areola that befuddles me is that people rarely even say it out loud. Have you ever heard the following in actual conversation?:

1. "Man, she has beautiful areolas!"

2. "Man....my areolas sure do itch...I've got itchy areolas!"

3. Excuse me sir, do my areolas smell funny?

4. "You know, Louie...ya can tell the size of a woman's areolas by the size of her feet. It's true."

5. "But Mom...we had areolas for dinner last night!"

6. "Get your feet of the areolas...I just polished them!"

7. "I'm afraid you have cancer of the areola.

8. "Man! Look at the areolas on that man's cans!"

(Men have areolas also, correct?)

9. I'll take the Areolas plus three points over the Dallas Cowboys!"

10. "Mmmmmmm....chicken fried areolas!"

Areolas. Dumbest word in history. And rarely do you hear anyone say it out loud. Areola. Sounds Hawaiian

Or something.

(spackle and slacks are dumb words also)

28 comments:

cake said...

Oh, that areola!

stuckwithacomb said...

Wasn't Areola the Little Mermaid?

Anonymous said...

My son plays the areola in the school band.

areolas said...

I'm pretty sure Areolas are new cookies from Nabisco.

Kinda like Oreos, only better.

bacon ace said...

That's why areola is the best superpower.

cake said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
cake said...

An areola and a stick of butter walk into a bar.

The bartender takes one look at them and says, "One Slippery Nipple, coming right up!"

(Sorry.)

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't that be "An areola and a stick of butter take an ascending escalator into a bar"?

-- Lamont Cranston

Phil Donahue's Niece said...

(spoken with thick Boston accent)Areola? I hardly know 'ah!

Lois Lane said...

No, no. I'm certain this is one of those damn anime cartoons my son watches...

"Hyper Areola Monkey T.I.T. Force--GO!"

Fox Muldour said...

Isn't Areola 51 where the government hides the UFO's and stuff?

Lois Lane said...

I think Raging Areola was the band that played at my sister's wedding.

Oh, wait. I don't have a sister. Never mind.

cake said...

Wasn't there a great ole classic movie called Areolas and Old Lace?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I thought it was a TV show... Areola, Indiana

It's possible ya know. said...

Didn't Ronald Reagan end the Areola War?

Elvis said...

Viva Areo-Las Vegas!

Jen-the-hair-spray-gal said...

Aren't areolas what's depleting the ozone layer?

Areola Obama said...

Vote for me in 2008!

Areola bin Laden said...

Death to America and parts of Canada!

The nipple said...

Dear Areola,

Give me some space, huh?

I can't breathe with you suffocating me.

cake said...

The puns are only going to get worse if someone doesn't nipple them in the bud...

Bemisdown said...

Every spring, I plant a garden full of aerolas.

Bemisdown said...

funny cake, I was just thinking about buds and my beautiful garden of aerolas.

Carl sagan said...

I love the Areola Borealis! Its my favourite near the Milky Way.

Sugar Areolas said...

Just doesn't have the same ring...

busted said...

"Carl Sagan" was Cake; you can tell by the stupid Canadian spelling.

cake said...

Actually...much as I'd love to take credit, it wasn't.

We have another Canadian lurking on the blog. You should all be very, very nervous.

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