I was taking a break from helping Mitt Romney move some stuff when I read this story:
It seems God talked direct to Pat Robertson (crazed TV religious nut job 700 Club guy) and told him that the US was going to suffer a terrible terrorist attack sometime after September resulting in the death of millions.
He also mentions that God didn't say it would be nuclear....but Pat thinks it will be.
So now lets analyze this. A couple things:
I find it odd that God has a calendar and mentions it will happen after September. Is it a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar? Maybe one of those Far Side ones? What kinda calendar does God have? Did he get it AFTER Christmas and save 50%?
I also love that Pat knows it will be nuclear but God doesn't.
Later in the story the reporter mentions Pat's 'predictions' and other conversations that Pat has had with God. Seems last year God told Pat that there would be a tsunami in New England. When questioned Pat said: "Well, maybe there wasn't a tsunami but it rained a lot last year so I was close enough"
No, you weren't.
God spoke to me also.
He told me Pat is a douchebag.
He also told me that new show 'The Knights of Prosperity' is pretty funny.
He was right on both counts.
It's a gas, gas, gas!
Search This Blog
About Me
I might.
"It's over for us. If this oil comes ashore, it's just over for us," Rowell said angrily, rubbing his forehead. "Nobody wants no oily shrimp."
11 comments:
Just got an e-mail from God. He's just screwing with Pat, cause, yeah, Pat's a major douche.
Tomorrow, he's going to make Pat eat a big bowl of mashed potatoes with scallions. That God is a wacky guy.
And "Knights" was indeed very funny.
I can't believe I forgot about Knights.
I'll just be over here banging my head on the wall.
(I blame Pat.)
Pat Areola.
Cake,
Knights of Prosperity is being re-shown this Friday night at 9pm on ABC-TV
Saul,
Did god tell you that, or did Pat have to forward god's e-mail to you?
Cousin Saul:
Oh, good, I can stop banging my head on the wall...I'm thick-headed but it was starting to hurt anyways.
Thanks very much!
Thanks for your help, IANO...I'll remember it if I need a presidential blogger.
I'm thinking of throwing my tail into the presidential race, too. Can I count on all your votes?
You can also watch "KoP" online at abc.com
ABC blocks out Canadians...I tried on my lunch. ::pout::
Pat is listening to those voices in his head again...
and My Calendar is the Victoria Secret Angel one, thank you very much. My Secret Santa gives me one every year.
And anything I have to say, I'd tell Joel Osteen
Post a Comment