Thursday, January 04, 2007

It's Pat!

I was taking a break from helping Mitt Romney move some stuff when I read this story:

It seems God talked direct to Pat Robertson (crazed TV religious nut job 700 Club guy) and told him that the US was going to suffer a terrible terrorist attack sometime after September resulting in the death of millions.

He also mentions that God didn't say it would be nuclear....but Pat thinks it will be.

So now lets analyze this. A couple things:

I find it odd that God has a calendar and mentions it will happen after September. Is it a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar? Maybe one of those Far Side ones? What kinda calendar does God have? Did he get it AFTER Christmas and save 50%?

I also love that Pat knows it will be nuclear but God doesn't.

Later in the story the reporter mentions Pat's 'predictions' and other conversations that Pat has had with God. Seems last year God told Pat that there would be a tsunami in New England. When questioned Pat said: "Well, maybe there wasn't a tsunami but it rained a lot last year so I was close enough"

No, you weren't.

God spoke to me also.

He told me Pat is a douchebag.

He also told me that new show 'The Knights of Prosperity' is pretty funny.

He was right on both counts.


Lois Lane said...

Just got an e-mail from God. He's just screwing with Pat, cause, yeah, Pat's a major douche.

Tomorrow, he's going to make Pat eat a big bowl of mashed potatoes with scallions. That God is a wacky guy.

And "Knights" was indeed very funny.

cake said...

I can't believe I forgot about Knights.

I'll just be over here banging my head on the wall.

(I blame Pat.)

not-clinky said...

Pat Areola.

cousin saul said...

Knights of Prosperity is being re-shown this Friday night at 9pm on ABC-TV

bacon ace said...

Did god tell you that, or did Pat have to forward god's e-mail to you?

cake said...

Cousin Saul:

Oh, good, I can stop banging my head on the wall...I'm thick-headed but it was starting to hurt anyways.

Thanks very much!

mitt said...

Thanks for your help, IANO...I'll remember it if I need a presidential blogger.

rat said...

I'm thinking of throwing my tail into the presidential race, too. Can I count on all your votes?

Clinky said...

You can also watch "KoP" online at

cake said...

ABC blocks out Canadians...I tried on my lunch. ::pout::

pwdonz said...

Um, actually that message to Pat Robertson was for ME, and it wasn't about a big disaster after September, it was about the Red Sox leading the AL East but blowing it down the stretch to the hated Yankees.


God said...

Pat is listening to those voices in his head again...

and My Calendar is the Victoria Secret Angel one, thank you very much. My Secret Santa gives me one every year.

And anything I have to say, I'd tell Joel Osteen