Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The Hitler

About two weeks ago this guy walks by my shop and he's sportin' a Hitler mustache.


Is that a chick magnet?

A statement?

A drunken style choice?

A new trend?

What posseses one to walk around with said Fuhrer Fuzz?

Now most guys at one point or another in their lives have 'experimented' with a Hitler 'stache. But only when alone in a locked bathroom when they can seig heil in private (and maybe comb their hair in the Hitler 'do.)

But out in public? A Hitler Mustache? I think not.

In fact it's in the handbook: NO HITLER 'staches IN PUBLIC. EVER! (Halloween exemption)

I havn't seen ol' Joey Stachey McGruder since he walked by....but I'm hoping he pops in sometime. Might be a hoot.

Did I mention I think he was Mexican? (The guy, not Hitler)

(I love mentioning race when it has nothing to do with the story. OLE!)


doc nazi said...

You're saying there's something wrong with the Hitler mustache?!

Come with me, please.

Redbeard76 said...

Heil Steve has a nice ring to it.

Joe Doherty said...

You never see Stalin mustaches anymore, either.

And ever since Charlie Manson, swastika forehead tattoos are just not in style anymore. Such a pity.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

And the first person to send me a picture of themselves with a Hitler 'stache gets a prize.

Joe Doherty said...

Gimme an email address!

cake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cake said...

Now playing for a limited time only!

Joe Doherty said...

HA! Cake wins the prize!! Heil Cake!

cake said...


Picture c/o a friend with a fancypants camera.

And, no, he would NOT approve of the Hitlerizing of it. Heh, heh.


::sends picture to friend::

Spud said...

I don't know. That's more like a Charlie Chaplin to me? Judges?

Clinky said...

That little boy was you, wasn't it, Cousin Steve...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Lois won also...she just came into the shop sportin' a Hitler 'stache* (Made of black tape)

Chicks with Hitler mustachioes are kinda hot.

In that weird Third Reichy way.

* and yes, she got a prize.

cake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cake said...

Lois cheated! You specifically said a "picture." She's disqualified and I get her prize, too!

David'Z RantZ said...

IANO: If you think chicks with Hitler mustaches are hot...

Spud: Maybe the guy IANO saw was a Chaplin fan who never heard of this "Hitler" guy.

Cake: You deleted your blog entry? Glad I got to see it only minutes before you did that. Stinker.

cake said...

I'm not that keen on having pictures of myself up there, which is why I almost always crop half my face out.

Call me weird, if you like, just don't call me late for dinner!

(Which would be weird since we already established that I make dinner, so I'd be calling myself to I'm getting confused.)

David'Z RantZ said...

Cake: "I'm not that keen on having pictures of myself up there," is a sentiment I can understand. On my blog, the only real photos of me that I've posted have been of myself as a child.

Hope you got to read my comment before you zapped the entry.

cake said...

::interrupts electrolysis to answer...::

Yes! I get comments e-mailed to me so I just checked and it was sitting in my inbox. It knocked the petulance right outta me!

And now I feel kinda bad for stealing the bagels. Dammit.

Lois Lane said...


It wasn't cheating, because I wasn't doing it to win a prize. I was just doing it....oh hell, I wanted the prize!

You doctored a photo, while I did live performance art! Ha!

But yeah, you followed the rules. I'll leave half the prize on the porch for you. Pick it up anytime. You'll just have to fight my kids for it. (Watch out for the little one. He's a biter.)

cake said...

I'll be there around 6pm...can I stay for supper? I'll bring infrastructure!

Lois Lane said...

Sure! Hubby's picking up takeout, so I'll just have him get extra. Drinking was on the agenda anyway -- for numerous reasons -- so infrastructure more than welcome.

jed said...

Mean Mr. Mustache

Shave Jude

David'Z RantZ said...


1. "And now I feel kinda bad for stealing the bagels." Oh, now you feel bad. And after I've been stuck eating rice noodles for breakfast the last few days. (At least, they looked like rice noodles. I'd know for sure if I wasn't too retarded to read the label. *ahem*)

2. So, the definition of "infrastructure" is "wine?" Don't forget, I'm new here, and the various online dictionaries don't understand you folks at all.

EGE said...

Um... If he was Mexican, I think it's called a Sanchez.

cake said...


1) At least the noodles had extra vegeta...HEY! Waitasec! Did you just call me retarded?

2) I believe there was a terrible accident somewhere sometime last year...and the news stories afterwards kept going on and on and on about the infrastructure crumbling or something. Some wit around here (I blame IANO) decided it made a good drinking anytime we saw the word "infrastructure," we were supposed to take a drink. Given the random brains around here, it was a short hop/skip/jump to just calling alcohol "infrastructure." Ta-da! Aren't you glad you asked?

Infrastructure! ::drinks::

shave me from myself! said...

- Ain't She Shaved
- Eight Shaves a Week
- Baby Yer a Clean-Shaven Man
- Maxwell's Silver Razor
- Happiness is a Warm Blade

not as easy as it looks said...

* Long Bald Sally

* Smooth as an Onion

* I'll Follow the Hairs

* Straight Razor Shaves Forever

a guy with a hitler mustache said...

-Here Comes The Son (of the Douche With The Hitler Mustache)

-Let it Be (the douche with the Hitler Mustache)

-I Saw Her Standing There (with the douche with the Hitler mustache)

-I Wanna Be Your Man (with the Hitler mustache)

-The Ballad Of John and Yoko(with the Hitler mustache)

David'Z RantZ said...


Did I call you retarded? Uhhh... no... umm... I think it was IANO. (He's kinda the universal scapegoat around here, I've noticed.) Either that or I was misquoted. Yeah.

Thanks for giving me the backstory about the whole infrastructure [drinks] thing.

Infrastructure. [drinks]
Infrastructure. [drinks]
Infrastructure. [drinks]
Infrastructure. [drinks]
Inferstructure. [drinks]
Infusstructure. [drinksh]
Infzztructcha. [drinkssshhh]
Imfsseeemastrucshul. [drzzzz]
*Hic* [glgg]


I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Davidz Rantz

Here is the original 'Infrastructure' blog from August 2, 2007.

"Where is that confounded bridge?"

Some of my random thoughts on the bridge collapse in Minnesota.

1. Reporters are stupid. I actually heard them say the follwing:

"There will be some deaths and fatalities."

"The bridge collapsed one hour ago...two hours ago in Minnesota, as they are on Central Time."

2. It must be really important because Matt Lauer from the Today Show is there wearing blue jeans, an unbuttoned collar, and he has a five o'clock shadow.

3. They claim it's not terrorism, but don't you find it odd that on the 1st year anniversary of the TWIN Towers falling, a bridge falls in the TWIN Cities? Into the Mississippi....which has three sets of TWIN letters? That ain't just a coincidence.

4. All the networks have named the collapse. Here are some of them:

a) Mayhem on The Mississippi

b) Catastrophe on the River

c) Tragedy in the Twin Cities

d) Bridge on the River Cry (I just made that one up)

5. In the next week you will hear the word 'infrastructure' more than you'll hear the word 'the' fact, we should play a drinking game. Everytime you hear the word 'infrastructure' have a drink....

6) I'm already sick of the bald, blood splattered guy that looks like a wrestler. I wish he had died.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Holy guacamole. I think that qualifies as self-spamming. I'm gonna report you to the Self-Spam Super-Scoldy Panda Police. HEY! Get away from me with that b-b gun! Infidel! flap flap flap SQUAWK!

David'Z RantZ said...

Look, IANO, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but Cake and I have been having this private conversation...

Oh. Wait. Your blog.

Oops. Sorry.

What I meant to say was, thanks so much for providing the full text of the original blog. Frankly, if our positions were reversed, I would have merely given you a link to the post and let you fend for yourself.

"Deaths and fatalities." Hm. Which is worse? (Reminds me of an old Martin Mull line: "Hey, Marty, how do you write those songs? What do you do first, words or lyrics?")

"The bridge collapsed one hour ago...two hours ago in Minnesota, as they are on Central Time." Even The Daily Show doesn't write lines that priceless!

Speaking of 9/11-themed coincidences, I know someone who claimed that the 2002 Super Bowl was "fixed" so the Patriots (Get it? Get it?) would win, to show support for the USA after 9/11. And she was dead serious.

Let's see, you used the word "infrastructure" once in your intro to the old blog, and twice in the recycled blog itself. And I just used it one more time. [expertly does the math mentally, and takes three -- no, four -- drinks]