Monday, April 07, 2008

Scoldy, The Kung-Fu Panda

So the other night I was at the movies and in the lobby was a large cardboard stand-up advertising a new Pixarian film called KUNG-FU PANDA.

Seems like a cute idea. Giant panda that uses the lost art of kung-fu.

Kung-Fu Panda.

I was sold just by the name alone.

Until I got to my seat and the lights went dim.

The show started by having a 'presentation' of the rules of the cinema told to me by...yup, the KUNG-FU PANDA.

No this, no that. No Cell Phones.

And then he got angry and pointed right at me and said in his deep menacing Panda voice: "AND NO TEXTING!! People can hear YOU!!"

Keep in mind I was at an IMAX theatre about to see the Rolling Stones. Nobody could hear me texting. If in fact I was texting.

Which I was.

Until ScoldyLocks shamed me.

I HATE CHEW KUNG-FU PANDA!!!

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

You! You! STOP TEXTING!

Cake said...

When that panda commercial came on in my theatre, I sent a text to the theatre management telling them I wished their stupid panda was attacked by a Fenway hawk.

(Okay, not really...but I wanted to.)

Anonymous said...

"Get your hands off my cell phone ya damn dirty Panda!"

Joe Doherty said...

I don't blame you for texting during the Rolling Stone movie. I would have been bored out of my mind, too...

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Joey D-

You're dead to me.

Dead.

Cake said...

Dear Mr. Doherty:

Me as well.

AND I'll be sending the panda around to visit you.

Love,
Cake

Anonymous said...

Joey D-

NO COMMENTING on the STONES until you've seen them!

Anonymous said...

Woo-Woo!

::beats Joe up::

Anonymous said...

Scold Brown Shoe

Panda Lane

Please Mr. PandaMan

I Am The Panda

Text-it To Ride

Text and Shout

While My Cell Phone Gently Beeps

Mean Mr. Panda

The Silver Fox said...

I thought they already used that kung-fu panda idea in a film. It starred Chris Farley, I believe.

Anonymous said...

Since Scorsese directed this, I went thinking I'd see the Stones get beat up by DeNiro and Pesci, then thrown into the trunk of a car and shot.

That didn't happen, but the Stones did look like they got beat up.

I texted Joe D. through the whole film, telling him how bored I was.

Anonymous said...

Dear HorrorU,

NO TEXTING!

stuckwithacomb said...

You're a lot bossier than that panda.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Me?

Cake said...

Buncha savages around this blog today, I tell ya.

Anonymous said...

NO CALLING ME BOSSY!

Joe Doherty said...

HorrorU, thank you for the texting of the movie. I had insomnia until I read about the Stones.

No seriously...the Stones movie must be wonderful. You don't see a lot of movies from the AARP Production company.

Anonymous said...

NO TAUNTING!

Anonymous said...

NO SLEEPING!

Anonymous said...

::makes shape of imaginary glass box....kung-foos it::

Anonymous said...

I HATE JHEWS!

Anonymous said...

NoOprah,
If Joe D. is dead to you ...can I have his gun?

Anonymous said...

NO EATING COOKIES! I HATE CHEM!

Anonymous said...

Saul:

NO GUNS!

Anonymous said...

Crap.

Anonymous said...

"YOWWWWCH!!!!!!"

Anonymous said...

Brrr.

Anonymous said...

"I used to have to walk 10 kilometers in the rain to get to school when I was you age..."

Anonymous said...

"Wanna buy some cheap penicillin?"

Anonymous said...

"I ain't wearing any pants."

Anonymous said...

You spelled kilometres wrong.

Anonymous said...

"Beam me up, Scoldy."

Anonymous said...

I like origami.

Anonymous said...

A long time ago, with a panda far far away...

Anonymous said...

"You will live a long and fruitful life....send IANO a dollar."

Anonymous said...

::folds aces over jacks::

Anonymous said...

Yodel-Ay-Ee-Oooo!

Anonymous said...

::burp::

Anonymous said...

Yaaaaaaaarr, mateys!

Anonymous said...

::in friendly Kung-Fu Panda voice::

"Sorry Steve, I didn't know it was you."