So the other night I was at the movies and in the lobby was a large cardboard stand-up advertising a new Pixarian film called KUNG-FU PANDA.
Seems like a cute idea. Giant panda that uses the lost art of kung-fu.
Kung-Fu Panda.
I was sold just by the name alone.
Until I got to my seat and the lights went dim.
The show started by having a 'presentation' of the rules of the cinema told to me by...yup, the KUNG-FU PANDA.
No this, no that. No Cell Phones.
And then he got angry and pointed right at me and said in his deep menacing Panda voice: "AND NO TEXTING!! People can hear YOU!!"
Keep in mind I was at an IMAX theatre about to see the Rolling Stones. Nobody could hear me texting. If in fact I was texting.
Which I was.
Until ScoldyLocks shamed me.
I HATE CHEW KUNG-FU PANDA!!!
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40 comments:
You! You! STOP TEXTING!
When that panda commercial came on in my theatre, I sent a text to the theatre management telling them I wished their stupid panda was attacked by a Fenway hawk.
(Okay, not really...but I wanted to.)
"Get your hands off my cell phone ya damn dirty Panda!"
I don't blame you for texting during the Rolling Stone movie. I would have been bored out of my mind, too...
Joey D-
You're dead to me.
Dead.
Dear Mr. Doherty:
Me as well.
AND I'll be sending the panda around to visit you.
Love,
Cake
Joey D-
NO COMMENTING on the STONES until you've seen them!
Woo-Woo!
::beats Joe up::
Scold Brown Shoe
Panda Lane
Please Mr. PandaMan
I Am The Panda
Text-it To Ride
Text and Shout
While My Cell Phone Gently Beeps
Mean Mr. Panda
I thought they already used that kung-fu panda idea in a film. It starred Chris Farley, I believe.
Since Scorsese directed this, I went thinking I'd see the Stones get beat up by DeNiro and Pesci, then thrown into the trunk of a car and shot.
That didn't happen, but the Stones did look like they got beat up.
I texted Joe D. through the whole film, telling him how bored I was.
Dear HorrorU,
NO TEXTING!
You're a lot bossier than that panda.
Me?
Buncha savages around this blog today, I tell ya.
NO CALLING ME BOSSY!
HorrorU, thank you for the texting of the movie. I had insomnia until I read about the Stones.
No seriously...the Stones movie must be wonderful. You don't see a lot of movies from the AARP Production company.
NO TAUNTING!
NO SLEEPING!
::makes shape of imaginary glass box....kung-foos it::
I HATE JHEWS!
NoOprah,
If Joe D. is dead to you ...can I have his gun?
NO EATING COOKIES! I HATE CHEM!
Saul:
NO GUNS!
Crap.
"YOWWWWCH!!!!!!"
Brrr.
"I used to have to walk 10 kilometers in the rain to get to school when I was you age..."
"Wanna buy some cheap penicillin?"
"I ain't wearing any pants."
You spelled kilometres wrong.
"Beam me up, Scoldy."
I like origami.
A long time ago, with a panda far far away...
"You will live a long and fruitful life....send IANO a dollar."
::folds aces over jacks::
Yodel-Ay-Ee-Oooo!
::burp::
Yaaaaaaaarr, mateys!
::in friendly Kung-Fu Panda voice::
"Sorry Steve, I didn't know it was you."
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