Yesterday I knew it was going to snow today.
All the weathermen said so. On TV. On the web. On the radio.
Customers coming into the store all said "snow tomorrow"
It wasn't a secret. Snow. In February. In New England.
So what did I do yesterday?
I washed my stupid car. The day before it snows. At around 6:00 last night. My car sat nice and clean in my garage for about 15 hours.
And then I backed out of said garage and had a filthy car.
Somehow I blame Al Gore. Or maybe John Kerry. Yeah, John Kerry.
I have a filthy car because of John Kerry.
No. Wait. I have a filthy car because of Hillary Clinton.
WOW! That makes me feel better already.
Stupid Hillary Clinton and her stupid dirty snow. I hate her and her giant thighs. And cankles. And filthy snow.
It's a gas, gas, gas!
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"It's over for us. If this oil comes ashore, it's just over for us," Rowell said angrily, rubbing his forehead. "Nobody wants no oily shrimp."
"Oh, That Wifey!"
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My dog.
5 comments:
Loo-zah!
You didn't wash your car yesterday?
Of course not, it was going to snow...I'm not retarded, y'know.
The more apt adjective to apply to Hilary's thighs is "meaty," or, if you prefer a compound adjective, "beef-bedewed."
The larger (and even beefier point): Man, oh man, are you "Felix Ungerish"! Oofah!
Yet, consider the source: I last washed my car in aught four. It's a whole different color than when I bought it. It now classifies as modern art or wicked retahded. I vote for wicked retahded, but then I drive it.
Viva Las Retardos!
aHA !
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