It's very bizarre.
You'll be having a deep discussion about Iraq or Bill Clinton or something and the Hoag will always somehow work in things like:
"Imagine if bears were in charge of the military?"
or
"Would it have been a scandal if Bill Clinton was not having sex with bears instead of Monica Lewinsky?"
Or sometimes I'll be mentioning maybe American Idol and Hoag will say "Imagine if they did Animal Idol and bears sang and stuff?"
Or if I'm in the market for a new car Hoag will say crap like 'Imagine if bears drove cars....I wonder what kind they would buy....would they get the extended warranties?"
Or at a funeral he'll say junk like "Imagine how big the casket would be if she was a Grizzly."
Why do I even hang with such an odd guy?
If he was a bear would I still hang out with him?
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22 comments:
I don't watch American Idol, but I'd totally watch "Animal Idol." That would rock.
1) Imagine if squirrels were bears and pigeons were bears. Damn.
2) If there are midget horses, why aren't there midget bears? I want me a midget bear, and I want to dress him like Mr. Peanut.
3) If you hang out with Hoagy, it it possible that you are, in fact, a bear. Hibernating lately? Flippy-floppy fresh fish munchies?
4) What if Lassie were a bear? Rescues Timmy from a well. Pauses. Reflects. Mauls Timmy and shares remains with hungry cubs.
5) Would fictitious bears and real bears get along? Or would Yogi and Winnie get their asses kicked?
Imagine if bears wrote and sang Beatle songs?
1. Bees Bees Me.
2. Blackbear
3. I Am The Grizzly
4. I Wanna Be Your Bear
5. Got To get You Into My Den
6. Ob-Bla-De, Ob-La- RRRRROOOOOOAR!!
7. I wanna hold your paw.
8. Twist and Growl
Awww, you guys are soooo cute.
Hmm?
Gentle Ben digs "Got to Get You Into My Den" the most. Yet, he urges you to ponder the zaniness that would ensue if bears wrote and sang Stones songs.
1. Yogis Little Helper
2. 19th Nervous Ranger
3. Jumpin' Jack Fish
4. Paint It Kodiak
5. Grizzly Tuesday
6. Sympathy for the Harp Seal
7. Gimme Salmon
8. Midnight Polar
Paint it Brown
Street Fightin' Bear
Waitin' on a Bruin
Grizzly Shelter
Beast of Bear-den
Sympathy for the Harp Seal ?
SYMPATHY FOR THE HARP SEAL ??
Yeah, that one sucked. But, you gotta admit, it can't be fun to be eaten by a polar bear. Even I have sympathy for the Dondi-eyed little polar-snacks.
Warm regards,
Gentle Ben
Just My Hibernation (runnin' away with me)
As Bears Go By
It's Only Rocks and Dirt (but I like it)
Loving Cub
Under My Paw
Did anyone else used to watch Grizzly Adams? That guy was such a douche!!
(my grandmother lived with us and she used to watch it EVERY Sunday)
Grizzly Adams WAS NOT A DOUCHE!
Maybe it was grand-ma-ma that was the douche.
Grizzly Adams WAS NOT A DOUCHE!
Maybe it was grand-ma-ma that was the douche.
(After reading carefully to make sure these are original...)
- Fancybear Blues
- Honky Tonk Sows
- Let's Spend the Winter Together
- This Den is Empty
Bruin Sugar
19th Nervous Campground
Wild Ursine
Have You Seen Your Dominant Family Member Baby, Standing In The Shadows?
She's so Cold
Midnight Growler
Yellowstone Shuffle
Bearish Cub
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