Monday, August 06, 2007

Gowns for all occasions.

A few minutes ago I was walking up the street from the post office and noticed a sign in the window of the neighborhhod florist.

It read:

'Now selling gowns for all occasions.'

And of course I thought to myself...heck, I'm going to the Red Sox game next week, I wonder what kinda gown I should wear?

And what about Buddy Nite? Should I wear a different one than Hoag wears? Should I try and match what the Blonde wears?

What kinda gown does one wear while doing yardwork?

And work...crap, do I need a different gown for each day or should I just have 6 of the same gown? Maybe with my name stiched on it?

It's tough being a guy with all of these gown decisions to make.


cake said...

Why is the florist selling gowns? Are the gowns made from flowers?

If so, stay away from the rose ones...they have thorns, y'know.

Lois Lane said...

As long as your gown matches your lavender Crocs, you're good to go, no matter what the occasion.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Crocs n' Gowns.

Sounds like a store in the Mall.

Man Club said...

I'm watching you chief.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

What kinda gown does one wear while watching?

Anonymous said...

Mauve with lace trim.

Of course.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Buddy Night: Something fancy. Something very, very fancy. Nuh-nuh-nuh...fancier than that. Fancier. Nope. Fancier. Okay. That's about right. With gloves. And a man-purse. And maybe a lorgnette.
Red Sox: Go with the uniform colors. Accessorize with a "Kick Me" sign.
Color: Have fun with it! Gray is the new pink, pink is the new black, and black is sulking over there.

Anonymous said...

Yankee fans are so pretty that we don't need gowns.

-- Lamont "Doesn't really get the concept, but wants to play along anyway" Cranston

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dearest Lamont,

I didn't make up the whole 'Gowns for every occasion' was the florist. The lying florist.

I'm pretty sure they don't have gowns for really all that many occasions.

Possibly a wedding, maybe a prom.

jayne/bella/jayne/bella said...

I misread the last comment. I thought IANO had put: 'Possibly a wedding, maybe porn'.

I was wondering why you'd need a gown for porn.

What about the shops that sell occasional wear? It's all a bit confusing.

cake said...


"Occasional wear"...clothes for nudists, maybe?

Anonymous said...

Dearest NoOprah:

Ha ha ha -- I just got hold of a blue-and-white pinstriped gown, which I will be wearing in my XXX-debut, as the watersports boy in "Pride of the Yank-These!"

I'll show you... I'll show EVERYBODY!

-- Lamont "Fluffer-Nutter" Cranston