So we come home from a friends last night and Wifey goes into the 'family room' to turn on the TV while I go in the 'living room' to check emails and talk with my daughter (who is on computer).
Here is what you need to know:
1. The tuner on the TV in the 'family room' is a bit glitchy and you have to wiggle a cable in the back for a bit until the picture and sound comes on.
So anyhow I hear Wifey wigglin' the cable (sounds dirty , huh?) and I can hear this loud crackling static that usually happens until the cable is in the proper postion.....so I say to my daughter:
ME: "I'll give it 20 seconds until she swears"
DAUGHTER: ::nods:: basically ignores me.
ME: "one, two, three...
TV IN FAMILY ROOM: ::KrackleStaticKrackleKrackle::
DAUGHTER:: :::mesmorized by computer::
ME: "four, five, six, seven, eight....:::"
TV IN FAMILY ROOM: :::KrackleStaticKrackleStatic::
ME: "nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen,::
DAUGHTER:: ::Mesmorized by computer::
ME: "fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen..."
TV IN FAMILY ROOM: ::KrackleStaticKrackleStatic::
ME: "Nineteen, twent..."
WIFEY:: "GODDAMMITT!!!!"
ME AND DAUGHTER:: ::laughter....looks at each other....stronger laughter.....LAUGHTER!!! MORE LAUGHTER!!!!"
TV IN FAMILY ROOM: ::the clear sound of perfect reception and volume::
Moral of the story?
Making fun of Wifey with a daughter is better than a trip to DisneyWorld.
Monday, August 13, 2007
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22 comments:
Moral of the story is that swearing at technology is the best way to get it to work.
Oh, and the making of wifey thing...
And, you hope to get more pancakes? Harrumph!
Indeed. If you can't mock your family, who can you mock?
Aside from celebrities, the government, your friends, your pets, random strangers...
... sports icons, plumbers, people who come on during the last eight minutes of talk shows to hawk diet books, the Rutgers women's basketball team, foreigners who misspell words on signs and menus within their businesses...
-- Lamont "Curdled Milk of Human Kindness" Cranston
I do most of my mocking on this blog, funny enough.
I'll give you an example..."Hey, Hoagy, nice shoes!" Or how about, "Hey, Lamont! Yankees suck!"
(Hmm, I don't seem to pick on Lois much...how sexist of me. I'll have to fix that.)
Hey Lois, nice shoes!
Hey, Lamont, nice shoes!
Hey, Bacon Ace, nice shoes!
Hey, Sparkle, nice shoes!
Hey, Spud, nice shoes!
Hey, Boston Graf, nice shoes!
Hey, Cake, nice shoes.
Hey, Bella/Jayne, Nice British shoes!
Hey, Clinky, nice shoes!
Hey, Paul(s), nice shoes!
Hey, Maddog, nice shoes.
Hey, NoOprah, nice hogging your own blog!
Did we run out of space?
Hey, Bond, you don't know a good Bond girl from a thin one!
Hey, space, quit being so vacuumy and oxygenless!
Hey Jude, don't be afraid...
What?
Oh, sorry.
Hey hey we're the monkees!
Hey hey hey! It's Faaaaat Albert!
HEY...YOU...GU-UYS!
Heydiddledee hididdledee ho, neighbor!
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