Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Things overheard in my shop today.

"Are you trying to bribe an officer?"

"I had a white eyepatch after getting a tree branch stuck in my eye...they called me Stick Fury."

"You've got a Hawaiian Dick."

"If I threw up in your mouth would you swallow it or spit it up and ruin some comics?"

'Why do they call him Droopy?"

"Is the price what the price sticker says?"

"I am an expert on Thor."

"Nice shirt."

"Are there any good shops around here?"

"Where can I discard this soiled tissue?"

"Can I use your bat room?"

"It was the 1980s..."

"Do you have any bunson burners?"

"Do they ticket outside?"

"Did a boy about this high come in?"

"I'd f*ck me some She-Hulk."

"My legs get all swollen so I can't work."

"We should steal Yoda."

"Can you hold these for me in case my regular shop is sold out of them?"

"Catch ya on the flip-side!"

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Look it's Superman ::pointing at Green Lantern:: "


"I remember when they were a nickel."


I Ain't No Oprah said...

"RIP for the Royster ::pointing at a picture of Roy Scheider::"

cake said...

Well, do you have bunson burners??

(And...way funny! I think I've dealt with some of these same people. I'm glad they seem to have moved south. Whew!)

Redbeard76 said...

So it's true, nutjobs really do come out on lunar eclipse days.

Sparkle Plenty said...

HA! I love it.

Lois Lane said...

Well, it really *was* the 1980s.....

::runs to storage closet and starts burning old photos::

Lois Lane said...

And this should definitely be a regular Wednesday feature, btw.

David'Z RantZ said...

After reading numbers 1, 3, 5, 10, 16, 17, and 20 -- or what would have been numbers 1, 3, 5, 10, 16, 17, and 20 if you'd numbered 'em -- I had to remind myself that this is a comic shop and not a porno film studio.

Or is it just me?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

"I don't want to spend my lucky dollar."

Sparkle Plenty said...

Dear I Ain't No Oprah,

I agree with Lois. Please do this again some time and/or every New Comix Day.


cake said...

Dear NoOprah:

That's your name, may as well get used to it.


Yes, please to be doing this kind of list every New Comic Book Day!

David'Z RantZ said...

Just adding another "yes" vote to making this a regular feature!

Tex said...

are you sure these arent on your bathroom wall scratchings?

Anonymous said...

so it was pretty much business as usual today then - a shop full of crazies!

bacon ace said...

Hey! I am NOT crazy and it WAS a nice shirt.

Anonymous said...

I've met you - you ARE crazy! Not sure about the shirt though.

Andy Ihnatko said...

My favorite overheard comment in your store: "Wow, you can smell that all the way through the wall and everything!"

Regular feature? Do you want to risk people coming in with audition material?

"Sure, it hurt like hell...but afterward, you start to sort of enjoy the chafing."

"Is there a lot of kissing in this one, or do Batman and the Joker just fight and that's it?"

Redbeard76 said...

Rule #15. Just because you did two posts yesterday doesn't mean you get to take the day off today. Slackahs - you are here for my entertainment.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Death in the family.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Not really.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Dear Andy,

What can we smell thru the wall? The fine thin-crust pizza?

Or decaying golden age comics?

cake said...

Would someone please tell NoOprah (that's right, I said NoOprah) that it's bad karma to joke about deaths in the family...and even worse karma to mention delicious pizza to those who have none nearby.

Thank you.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Bad karma?? Maybe it will kill someone I don't like all that much.

You know...a cranky aunt or maybe a second cousin. Or someone.

cake said...

Would someone please tell NoOprah that I kinda hope his bad karma hits the cranky aunt he didn't like all that much...but who had miraculously had a change of heart and was on the way to his shop with a freshly baked batch of cookies when she tragically died?

Thank you.

erasers rule said...

Only losers delete comments.

Just sayin'.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Things I wish I had heard in your store:

"The Charles Nelson Reilly action figures are right over there--next to the Paul Lynde ones."

"No, no--go right ahead--that stack of vintage Popular Mechanics is free."

"Candy for m'lady?"

"Oh, yeah--we always dress like Flaming Carrot characters. It's the uniform."

"Relax. The pirate is harmless."

"Hey, looky! Jughead Double Digests on sale, 5 for $1.00!"

bacon ace said...

You can indeed hear those things in the shop. However it's only on Sundays.

"I've met you - you ARE crazy! Not sure about the shirt though."

What's with this annonymous tomfoolery? Who are you that doubts the power of NoOprah's pretty shirt?

cake said...

NoOprah has a "pretty shirt"... ::snicker:: That's my favourite line so far today!

Well, after "candy m'lady?"...I do like the sound of that. Mmm, free candy.