Monday, March 09, 2009

The #1 problem facing America today.

The economy?

I think not...all of us are working (except for two well known retired lounge lizards)

The War?

Are you getting shot at? No.

Is a loved one over in Iraq? I doubt it.

The war shouldn't concern shut up about it.

Maybe the number one problem is world hunger? I'm guessing the last time you were hungry was less than an hour ago and what did you do... starve? I think not. You ate something. World hunger is a media driven made up story.

Health care?

That's a problem?? Why? You have health care so shut up about it. It ain't a problem.

Global warming? Oh PUH-LEASE!

So what's the number problem in America?

I'll tell you in the next paragraph.

The number one problem is when you've just had your car washed and you're toolin' down the highway (pretty cool how I just said 'toolin' down the highway' huh?) and the douchebag in front of you decides that NOW is the time to clean his windshield and his windshield washer sprays up and over his car and all over your freshly washed car causing spotting and stuff.

That's a good enough reason for war. Or to make him starve to death. Or beat him until he needs health care.

Or something.

So to sum up:

Don't be washing your windshield when I'm behind you. Ya got that, Chief?


cousin saul said...

It could have been could of been bird crap on your car. I hate those stupid birds. Where's my DDT?

Kathy said...

IANO - Apparently you're not REALLY a dyed-in-the-wool New Englander because all NEs know that windshield washer fluid is the #1 weapon in the war on tailgaters.

A Cheeky Monkey said...

Ooooooh we only have about a month to go until the King of the Douchebag Birds gets into town! I almost forgot. Cool....I can't wait!

Cake said...


So to sum up...IANO tailgates?!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

-I'm Trying To Look Through You

-I Am the Windshield Washer Fluid

-Mean Mister Motorist

-Filthy Spotted Glass Onion

-*I Wanna Hold Your Squeegee

Douchebag in Front said...

Fixing A Tailgater
I Am The Douchebag
I Saw You Fuming There
Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da-OUCHEBAG strikes!

IANO the Tailgater said...

- Eight Miles an Hour
- Norwegian Would You Please Let me Pass
- Ticket to Ride Faster Than This
- Tardyman
- I Want to Hold Your Foot (To The Floor)

I thought the Beatles Games was about windows today said...


1-800-54-GIANT said...

- Old Brown Windshield
- Back in the C.L.E.A.R.
- Drive my Car (I Can't See Through the Windshield)
- Everyone's Trying to Obscure my Baby
- I Want You (She's so Blurry)