Saturday, May 13, 2006

Glink, The Hoag, and BlackJack McGruder

This is mostly a story about a roly poly guy named Glink. It also involves The Hoag (Hoagy's nickname) and BlackJack McGruder (my nickname at the time because I always carried a deck of cards and was always looking for a game)

The story takes place around 1974 or so. We were in our early teens and hung around Glink's house. Glink was this wicked fat fun guy that loved to smoke pot with The Hoag, listen to Led Zep's Houses of the Holy and eat cookies (I would be watching Rocky and Bullwinkle and Fractured Fairy Tales downstairs while they smoked and rocked out.)

Now Glink's Mom would make these awesome batches of cookies two or three times a week, and of course me and The Hoag (and Glink) would eat them all up each afternoon after school. Glink's Mom would come home and be appalled that her son wolfed down all of these cookies every day and Glink would always say the same thing: "But Ma, it was the Hoag and BlackJack McGruder that ate all the cookies"

Glink's Mom just thought the Hoag and BlackJack McGruder were imaginary friends of Glinks that he pinned his excessive eating on. She hadn't met us at the time. She continued to bake him cookies all the while just shaking her head at chubby ol' Glink.

Years (and 100 pounds later) Glink's Mom finally met us and knew she had done her son wrong.

There is no moral to this story.

11 comments:

I Ain't No Oprah said...

We were already naked eating the cookies.

Cake said...

Dear Blackjack:

We all know that The Hoag's imaginary too. You have a wonderful imagination.

Sincerely,
Cake

Lois Lane said...

The Hoag is Hoagy's nickname?

Isn't Hoagy Hoagy's nickname?

What kind of parents name their kid Hoagy?

Wait, I know. Parents who let their kid hang out with Glink and BlackJack McGruder.

Clinky said...

"A duck, a truck, and a 3-fingered cowboy."

Cake said...

Lois - Fortunately they all grew up normal and well-adjusted, huh?

Cake said...

Thinking of nicknames...

Cake
Gazongalicious
Phil Donahue's Niece
Lois Lane
Hoagy
Blackjack McGruder
Clinky the Boy Robot
Momenger
Cousin Steve

Right.

What I said about normal? Never mind...

Anonymous said...

Those aren't pillows..

Anonymous said...

I found your story touching, an honest narrative of the trials of adolesence and the lessons we learn during that difficult period in our lives.

I didn't get it, of course, but I felt the need to weigh in with something profound.

And by the way, did you ever put an egg under Glink's chin and straws up his nose when he was asleep? Just curious.

Cake said...

Anonymous:

Screw the pillows. Pass the cookies, please?

Sincerely,
Cake

Cake said...

Chocolate chip. Mmm.

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