I've told this story before, so if you've heard it go back to looking at internet porn or whatever it is you were doing.
A few years ago I'm out back taking some stuff out of my car when I look up at one of the adjoining buildings and see this SMOKING HOT chick standing on the fire escape.
Long hair, longer legs, shorter skirt, and smoking a cigarette doing that 'french inhale' thing where the smoke floats out of the mouth and then gets sucked up through the nose. Way hot. This girl was gorgeous.
Within about 15 seconds I know my wife is going to die of natural causes (broken brake line while descending Mt. Washington) and then I'll be able to spend the rest of my life with FireEscapeGal.
And then it happens:
This babe sorta lifts up one leg and lets out the biggest, loudest, longest fart EVER! She then turns and looks at me, turns beet red, and then quickly re-enters her building.
I've never seen her since.
That one single fart saved my wife's life.
There is no moral to this story.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
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7 comments:
I just don't buy it.
Sexy people don't fart.
EVER.
"Good Morning Captain Butler"
*cough*Nooprah's pet*cough*
Why do you call me NoOprah? It clearly says I aint NoOprah.
Because I can - it's a free country.
Captain NoOprah,
1. Good to know that there are other people who see bodybag as the only way for either party to get out of their marriage.
2. If this were a soap opera, after reading your blog today your wife would have faked her own death, pinned the crime on you, watched you get carted off to the pokey for life and then run off with her young lover Miguel, the owner of thriving baseball card/bonsai plant store.
I figure she spent the day tracking down that fire escape and plotting Miss Hot 'n Farty's "death of natural causes," just in case.
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