It's a gas, gas, gas!
Dear Uncle Hoagy:Is it true that the cry of the rare striped Massachusetts ground squirrel is indistinguishable from the mating call of the common Texas garden badger?I have $5 riding on the answer - thanks!Cake
Dear Uncle Hoagy:I'm in the middle of a boring conference call right now.What type of shoes should I be wearing? And what type of luncheon meat would best compliment them?Thanks!
Dear Thurscake,The Texas garden badger sounds more like the fence crapping Douchebag bird.
Dear Lois,Black spiked heels go best with a nice headcheese sandwich.All my best,OHB (Old Hoagy Boy)
Dear Thurscake,You made up those two animals, didn't you? There goes your $5, I hope it wasnt real AMERICAN currency.And Lois, luncheon meat is never complimentary. Not to your shoes, not to your thighs. If you stop obsessing about food and clothing and pay attention, the conference may not be boring.
Dear Uncle Hoagy,Lunch meat is not complimentary? Gee, its always said such nice things about you...Your Pal,Lois
Dear Lois:HA!! Very nice.Sincerely,ComplementaryCake
Dear Uncle Hoagy:Damn. You're more clever than I realized.Okay, a real animal question: how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Sincerely,CuriousCake
Uncle Hoagy, I now live in Pennsylvania, where we call some sandwiches "hoagies," but when I lived in Massachusetts, they made me call them "grinders," which always made me feel a little dirty. Should I just call them "subs" and stop seeing my therapist? Your advice is appreciated. Sincerely, Hungry in Pittsburgh
Dear Uncle Hoagy,Have you seen this:http://www.shopintuition.com/categories.asp?catid=123&WebCategoryParentID=26And now that you have, will you help me hunt them down?Sincerely,P.D.N.
Boy, I'm glad Uncle Hoagy isn't in charge of a suicide prevention hotline - he's slow with his answers.
Dear Uncle Hoagy,What did nooprah have in his lunchbox?And I love that cologne you're wearing. What's it called?Momenger
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