There once was a savior named Jesus
Who slid down chimneys to please us.
He left many presents
To poor kids and peasants
Uncles and Aunts, Nephews and Nieces.
(finish that up for me...willya?)
Thursday, December 21, 2006
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28 comments:
I don't DO limericks. It's against my religion.
There once was a broad named Cake.
Who broke the rules that I make.
She posted out of line
Most of the time.
But I forgive because of her headache.
This was too hard of an assignment.
I've got nothing either.
NoOprah appealed to the choiah
"Please dump dear St. Nick for Messiah.
It's not so suspicious
(this new turn religious)
The North Pole don't have lakes of fiyah.
-- Lamont Cranston
I've got nothing either.
As the savior flew fast away
He was overheard loudly to say
"I like this job more
then my job before--
I only work one measly day!"
(Ouch, sorry...)
The kids awoke with the bright sun
Filled with joy and lotsa fun
They ran down the stairs
Without fears or cares
Then they saw what Jesus had done...
Now Jesus was new to his job
He'd acted a bit of a knob
Instead of the loot
toys that would suit
He'd left leather bibles-- oh sob!
(Of course, if you could read my two contributions in reverse order...it'd probably work better. Heh.)
I thought I could get right away
To a beach with babes and saltspray
But Jesus goofed
Botched and spoofed
And now I'm the one who'll pay.
Did I say a beach and some sand?
With martinis right at at my hand?
Oh dear, it's a joke!
For you to provoke!
And it worked just as I'd planned.
There once was an elf that couldn't rhyme.
And he tricked Santa into drinking.
Then with a glance.
And a quick look skyward.
To all a good night
But then Jesus got sick of the work
And thought "What am I, a jerk?"
GOD is my Dad
So I'm frankly glad
To give this job to some St. Clerk
Yet Jesus was tired one day
He wanted to pray and to play
So he asked a fat guy
"Take my shift and I'll give you a pie!"
The rest is history they say.
I seem to be on a "Jesus is Lazy" toot.
We believe in the father of Jesus
Whose name we all say when we sneezes
But when we are dead,
Just like Mister Ted
We want them instead just to freeze us.
Jesus was spanking an otter
'Cause he knew then that God was his father
Then he said wait a minute
Ten swats are the limit
Because otherwise why do I bother?
There once was a fellow named Claus
Who never did break any laws
Except for the day
He found poop in his sleigh.
Then he angrily broke Rudolph's paws.
A Republican douchebag named Steve
Whose epiphany came Christmas Eve
When he said with a frown
Young George Bush let me down
But in Reagan I firmly believe!
Limerick or haiku
Jesus is not Santa Claus
Haiku wins the contest
Clinky won.
recap -
There once was a savior named Jesus
Who slid down chimneys to please us.
He left many presents
To poor kids and peasants
Uncles and Aunts, Nephews and Nieces.
This mistaken ID did cause Christ to tear -
Both good people did travel far and near -
However, one was greeted with holiday cheer -
While the other with disbelief and fear -
Yet both still reward good works all year!
We'll see who 'wins'!
Clinly only won because he figured out a way to put "Reagan" in his limerick.
Cheap trick.
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