Why I've never divorced my wife:
Came home last night to two large stacks of buttermilk pancakes.
And butter. (the butter wasn't in two large stacks)
And milk (the milk wasn't in stacks either)
And for all you women trying to salvage your marriage, you can't just make pancakes everyday and expect him to stick around.
The key to marriage saving pancakes is that they only show up every six weeks or so.
Or maybe every five weeks.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
Where do waffles fit into the scheme of a marriage?
The pancake theory is dead on, especially with a heaping side of bacon.
I think waffles only work in Canada and Puerto Rico.
Waffles are for folks on their second or third marriages.
I read it on Wikipedia. Or was it the Waffle Times?
"especially with a heaping side of bacon."
*sigh* Bacon, is there anything it can't do?
1) In parts of Canada, only french toast works.
2) Home fries never hurt due to their subliminal, marriage-strengthening name.
3) Bacon Ace: Yes. Bacon should not be used to remove grease stains. I am sorry.
Myrna "Only Real Maple Syrup, Please" Loy
"3) Bacon Ace: Yes. Bacon should not be used to remove grease stains. I am sorry."
Fight fire with fire I always say. (I never say that)
Excellent point, Mr. Ace. But, please--don't fight fire with bacon. Cover the pan, apply baking soda, activate extinguisher, stop drop and roll, or cry out hoarsely for Mrs. Bacon Ace. Let's be careful out there.
Myrna "Safety First" Loy
"1) In parts of Canada, only french toast works."
Good point. Though in parts of Canada, if you serve french toast...it's as good as filing for divorce.
Pancakes are love. They're also excellent for soaking up grease stains.
I soooo want to edit the Wikipedia waffle and pancake pages to include a reference to the information in this blog...
Where do potato pancakes fit in??
do crepes count?
And what about blintzes?
Waitaminute, folks...
Before we get all frantic here...
These rules do not, of course, apply to "dinner pancakes," which are stuffed with pastrami and asparagus and have a light mustard sauce as a topping. Those will not save a marriage. They are an abomination.
On the other hand, being greeted by someone in a bustier bearing a plate of banana-chocolate-chip pancakes is reason not only to keep right on with the matrimonial bliss, but to immediately take her to Las Vegas, renew your vows, and present her with a very nice strand of diamonds to boot.
Mmm, banana-chocolate-chip pancakes.
-- Lamont "Slathered" Cranston
Post a Comment