So the other day I'm on Verizon's website looking at phones and they have this wonerful site.
Easy to browse. Clear cut instructions. Good overview of all phones and service plans. And on and on.
But then they have this feature where you click on the phone you want and it gives the dimensions of said phone and even has a little 3-d like thing where the phone spins around 360 degrees so you can see all the sides of it. Good so far, correct?
Then it has a little thing you click on where you can compare it's size to items you KNOW what the size is.
For example:
They show the phone next to a standard deck of playing cards. Bingo! You know just what that phones size will be in relation to a deck of cards. Good feature to have on a website, correct?
Then they show the same phone next to a pad of Post-It Notes....so you know what you phones size will be next to a pad of Post-It Notes.
WRONG!!!!
There are dozens and dozens of sizes of pads of Post It Notes. It helps not one iota.
But of course a genius like me just looks at the dimensions of said phone and understands exactly what size of Post-It Notes he needs to buy.
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32 comments:
Just wow.
You've really got some sort of telephoneophobia working here, don't you?
::sticks a post-it note on IANO's forehead: "If I am out wandering alone, please call my family at 1-555-555-5555"::
Hmm. Subject has breezed past the rant stage and is entering Verizon Jihad territory. Has noticeable greenish appearance. Might be turning into a kind of MHzible Hulk.
Myrna "Post It? Don't Mind If I Do!" Loy
The really nifty thing about Post-it notes is that if you have enough of them, you don't need to use the "memo" feature on your personal digital assistant.
And what's even more nifty is that if you have enough of them, you don't need other clothing or shelter.
Did I mention I don't have a cell phone?
-- Lamont "Inconvenient Paper Cuts" Cranston
Quit making fun of my pain!!!
Dear Lamont,
Sorry to hear you lost your cellphone....it's probably just on top of the TV.
Yaay! Lamont's back! Hmm. No cellphone, no TV. Lamont, are you writing these posts on a hand-crank Rube Goldbergy manual typewriter contraption with an antennae? Be ye a Luddite? (Not a follower of Allen Ludden--the other kind.)
Back to subject observation. Multiple veins throbbing in forehead. Nervous tic. STOP! Don't climb that cellphone tower! Get down! Quick! Send in the Twinkie Wagon!
Myrna "I Use Orange Juice Cans and String--It's Easier" Loy
Myrna just said *cans*
It worked. I got you to stop thinking about phones.
For a second.
Myrna "Your Subliminal Message Goes Here" Loy
Does a 1 come first?
Lamont is a Mennonite, pass it on...
Step 1: Deliver the wisecrack: "Why, it depends on what country you're in, Mac!"
Step 2: Run away! Run away! (Monty Python clip-clop noises go here.)
Myrna "Can Lamont Build Us A Barn?" Loy
If the Beatles sang about IANO and his telephone woes:
- Everybody's Trying to Drive me Crazy
- Happiness is a Warm Cell
- You're Going to Lose that Call
- Please, Please me Verizon
- Twist and Shout (no edit required)
"Lamont is a Mennonite, pass it on..."
Lamont worships Mentos?????
Actually, I happen to agree with NoOprah on this one.
I think he is insane and is off his rocker for caring so much about it.
But he is correct.I have three different sized post-it notes in front of me right now, and two of them have the same HxW ratio.
Rant away, my good man! I got your back!
Flee, No Oprah, flee! I just heard that James Earl Jones is coming to open a can of Vaderizon Wireless whoop-ass on you. Whoa! Where'd Bostongraf scoot off to?
Myrna "Hide in the Barn that Lamont Just Built" Loy
Lois: I thought he was into Mennen speed stick, but spelled it funny.
In tribute to Cake:
Here, There, and Out Of Your Calling Plan
See if we remind you to pick up milk ever again.
More Beatles, 'cause I love that game!
Post-it Note Writer
911!
The Long and Winding Hold
Ticket to Dial
Alas, I'm rotten at it today. Time to "hang it up."
Myrna "Sorry, Wrong Number" Loy
Lois:
Lamont Worships Dementors?
Myrna:
I emboss my posts onto wax tablets, roll ink over said tablets, and then press 'em onto this interWeb thing. So far it's worked out well.
Oh, and it's nice to see that orange juice cans aren't for breakfast anymore.
Cake:
In the spirit of today's game, I cranked up my Victrola (it goes to 11) and listened to the following:
"With A Little Help from My Friends and Family Network"
"Baby, You're a Switched Plan"
"Carry That Rate"
"Continuing Story of Bungled-Up Bill"
I Want to Hold Your Handset"
"I'm Happy Just To Text With You"
"It Won't Be Long Distance"
"One, Before 909"
"Revolution 1-800"
"Revolution 1-900" (Yes, I know it's the same joke as above. It's also the same song. Just read this one slower and you'll be right in synch with the spirit of the originals)
"Rollover Minutes Beethoven"
"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Bandwidth"
-- Lamont "Butterfield Ate" Cranston
Nicely done Lamont!
"genius like me"
HA!
This post made me cry.
Suck it up, PostItPhobe! Be a man.
Please Mr. Post-It.
Let It Stick
Why Don't We Do It On A Post-It.
Maxwell's Silver Post-It
Sgt. Post-It's Lonely Notes Club Band
While My Sharpie Gently Seeps
Do a blog about Hoagy. We love blogs about Hoagy.
Yeah we miss Hoagy too.
I thought we buried the 'C' word?
do you think the naacp accidentally buried hoagy!? he's been awfully quiet lately.
You Know My Name (Look up the Number)- no edit necessary
*Looks for today's new blog post only to find a busy signal*
Ha! Score one for the Ace of Bacon!
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